The Blogger Method
I think I’m going to write a book called “Your Book Doesn’t Work.” I have a huge stack of baby books now, because every time Kyle changes his mind about how it’s gonna go down, I buy a new book about it, and study it religiously, and follow all the rules. The new method works for a while, but then the kid catches on and refuses to submit. At least he’s clever that way.
Yesterday I broke down and called Stewart, who was trying to concentrate at work and therefore further his efforts to make us rich so I won’t have to work ever again. I have taken on a freelance post production gig and I was trying to concentrate, myself. It was Kyle’s naptime, or least my idea of what his naptime should be, and he was in his room which is adjacent to my office. It was about an hour after I put him in his crib, and he was STILL wailing at the top of his lungs, with his entire hand in his mouth. That’s an impressive trick. It was 80 hundred degrees here in the Valley, and since the sun beats down on this side of the house all day, it was pretty hot in here even though the air conditioner was on, and I was cranky.
Like I said, I was trying to concentrate. I was trying to THINK, to BE CLEVER, and TO WRITE. But it seems the only thing I can write cleverly about (at least I think so) is Kyle and his wailing. But anyway…
I just couldn’t do it. I was so distracted by Kyle’s crying – not just the sound, but the idea of it – the fact that we’ve been doing Ferber’s progressive timing since Monday and still the kid will not nap. Nighttime is fine, but naps are torture. So I started to cry, too, and I called Stew and bawled my eyes out and whined to him. I felt bad doing that, but I just needed to get it off my chest so I could continue and get something done. Basically I was complaining to him that I wanted to concentrate on my work but Kyle was getting in my way.
Stewart was sympathetic, and it’s funny, because he said “well, I’ll come home and relieve you at 8.” Which is funny because THAT’S KYLE’S BEDTIME. Easy for him to relieve me when Kyle is actually sleeping, huh?
Nonetheless, I felt bolstered by our phone call so I picked Kyle up out of his crib and put him in his bouncy seat in front of…
…OH THE HORROR…
Stewart and I swore that Kyle would not be a TV kid. I promised I would not just plop him down in front of the TV to shut him up. But these were desperate times, people. He sat still and happy for 20 minutes watching Baby Monet and talking to the maniacal zebra puppets. Kyle is only 3 months old and I have now doomed him to a life of short attention spans and nervous tics. But at least I got some work done.
And then Stewart came home and I told him how guilty I felt while I was working and not paying attention to my poor child who was abandoned in front of the tv. Little did I know that I had just exhibited the classic working mother’s struggle – and it was only my second day of a job that I can do in my own house! The ideal situation! And the company I’m working for is making it VERY attractive to do such projects – the home work arrangement, flexibility for when I do have to go to the office, etc.
But when it all works well, I feel really good about it. I’m using my mind and hopefully greasing the rusty gears of my creativity. I’m making money, and I’m still spending my days with Kyle. I hope I can have the patience to work through this nap thing. Of course, because I’m totally complaining about it right now, he is actually asleep. Is Blogger magic? If I write it, he will sleep?