If You Die in the Matrix, You Die in Real Life

Over the weekend our adorable, charming two-and-a-half year old boy was a royal terror. In public he was fine, like that Warner Bros. frog. But at home, after destroying the house and ripping up any paper within his reach, he took to talking back to his parents like a truck-driving street urchin.

We’re told it’s a phase and we believe it, but that doesn’t help that much. We try to steel ourselves to the madness and respond calmly and with dignity, but sometimes we can’t help blurting out a hearty “You’re not the boss of ME, little boy!”

After hoisting him in and out of his crib for a million and one time-outs, (yes he’s still in his crib thank goodness or what else would we do? Handcuffs?) my old body was sore. The kid weighs 37 pounds, after all. I was wiped out by 9pm last night, and fell asleep watching the news.

During the night I dreamed that my back went out. When I woke up for the infant’s night feeding, lo and behold, my back really had gone out, temporarily. I felt robbed. Usually, if you wake up out of a bad dream, the bad stuff goes away.

Today is one of Kyle’s 2 days at home per week. Talk about reality.

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18 Responses to “If You Die in the Matrix, You Die in Real Life”

  1. Katie says:

    So I guess I shouldn’t ask how the potty training is going, huh? Luke has turned into a terror like Kyle every time I suggest sitting on the potty. Why doesn’t it gross him out to sit in poo or wet pants? I hate this job.

  2. Katie says:

    So I guess I shouldn’t ask how the potty training is going, huh? Luke has turned into a terror like Kyle every time I suggest sitting on the potty. Why doesn’t it gross him out to sit in poo or wet pants? I hate this job.

  3. Katie says:

    So I guess I shouldn’t ask how the potty training is going, huh? Luke has turned into a terror like Kyle every time I suggest sitting on the potty. Why doesn’t it gross him out to sit in poo or wet pants? I hate this job.

  4. sara says:

    I feel as if this is a short, prophetic glimpse into my future!

  5. sara says:

    I feel as if this is a short, prophetic glimpse into my future!

  6. sara says:

    I feel as if this is a short, prophetic glimpse into my future!

  7. Karen P. says:

    It must have been the full moon. My little guy was crazy Fri and Sat. Sunday, he was perfect.
    Hang in there.

  8. Karen P. says:

    It must have been the full moon. My little guy was crazy Fri and Sat. Sunday, he was perfect.
    Hang in there.

  9. Karen P. says:

    It must have been the full moon. My little guy was crazy Fri and Sat. Sunday, he was perfect.
    Hang in there.

  10. Anne says:

    Gabriel spent his entire Thanksgiving weekend eating nothing but Rice Krispies and vehemently rejecting my mother-in-law. Maybe there’s some kind of gang initiation we didn’t know about …
    Look at Kyle up there. What a stinker!

  11. Anne says:

    Gabriel spent his entire Thanksgiving weekend eating nothing but Rice Krispies and vehemently rejecting my mother-in-law. Maybe there’s some kind of gang initiation we didn’t know about …
    Look at Kyle up there. What a stinker!

  12. Anne says:

    Gabriel spent his entire Thanksgiving weekend eating nothing but Rice Krispies and vehemently rejecting my mother-in-law. Maybe there’s some kind of gang initiation we didn’t know about …
    Look at Kyle up there. What a stinker!

  13. Lisa says:

    There is something to be said for the full moon, and holidays, that throws kids off. Trust me, I experience it often. I’m hoping that’s what it was with Kyle, and he will be sweet and charming and wonderful again very soon–like NOW.

  14. Lisa says:

    There is something to be said for the full moon, and holidays, that throws kids off. Trust me, I experience it often. I’m hoping that’s what it was with Kyle, and he will be sweet and charming and wonderful again very soon–like NOW.

  15. Lisa says:

    There is something to be said for the full moon, and holidays, that throws kids off. Trust me, I experience it often. I’m hoping that’s what it was with Kyle, and he will be sweet and charming and wonderful again very soon–like NOW.

  16. blog mama says:

    I’ve done that alot. The Matrix thing, I mean. I usually dream that I have to pee and then wake up and have to get up. Or, my two-year-old is crying in my dream and then I wake up and it’s true. Weird. Hope you feel better.

  17. blog mama says:

    I’ve done that alot. The Matrix thing, I mean. I usually dream that I have to pee and then wake up and have to get up. Or, my two-year-old is crying in my dream and then I wake up and it’s true. Weird. Hope you feel better.

  18. blog mama says:

    I’ve done that alot. The Matrix thing, I mean. I usually dream that I have to pee and then wake up and have to get up. Or, my two-year-old is crying in my dream and then I wake up and it’s true. Weird. Hope you feel better.

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