That’s What She Said

I have been developing an addictive personality. Until now, this hasn’t been a problem for me, but in the last year I have noticed that if there is any tasty, bad-for-me food in the house, especially chocolate, its presence nags at me until I have eaten it all or taken it somewhere else. I know the exact number and location of the homemade chocolate Thomas the Train lollipops we got as favors from a recent kids’ birthday party. I know how many popsicles are left and that we have 1/4 of a container of Dreyer’s fudge brownie ice cream. When I choose not to use this information, I feel like I have the upper hand. But in moments of weakness I will consume these things at each free moment until they’re gone.

I’m like that right now with “The Office.” It started innocently with a red Netflix envelope. After a few episodes, I was hooked. And with Netflix, it’s just so easy to select “play all” and get wrapped up in the stupid little subplots (Jim and Pam, today’s Sam and Diane?) and you just have to see what happens next.

I started to feel withdrawals when I finished a DVD and had to wait for the next one to arrive in the mail. I burned through the first three seasons in a matter of weeks. Two days ago, I watched the last episode of season three, and I felt as sad as if a friend is moving away.

Then I discovered that I could buy the current season online and get caught up. Hooray! I signed up and downloaded the package from Amazon.com for twenty bucks. No, not in the budget, but I can do my own pedicure so it’s a wash, right? And yes, it kind of negates the point of Netflix, because I am not using any new selections while I obsess over “The Office.” And yes, other more productive things could be taking up my time. But you know what? There are episodes out there to be watched, just like there is chocolate to be eaten and vodka with peach lemonade cocktails to be imbibed.

And I’ve got an itch. It must be scratched.

…and that’s what she said.