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5 Things To Know About “Elysium” (Spoilers)

August 22, 2013 Kim Tracy Prince 1 Comment

This post is a guest post by Glennia Campbell. Well, she put this up on her Facebook page and then I begged her to let me post it on my blog because I thought it was so straightforward and great. So, welcome to my first ever guest post. And read Glennia’s blog here.

What my shoulders and neck feel like after too many hours at my desk.
What my shoulders and neck feel like after too many hours at my desk.

Went to see Elysium last night. It’s like a sci-fi movie written by Occupy Wall Street. Income disparity, access to healthcare, data security, gun violence, stop & frisk…all covered.

Here’s what we learn about the future, according to Elysium (**spoiler alert**):

1. Rich people live in a giant hamster wheel in the sky, which looks a lot like Beverly Hills. Poor people live on earth, which has become a giant slum and are ruled by robots. Most of them long to live in the hamster wheel.

2. Of course, there are flying cars in the future, but no one is wearing Google glasses. Instead, they just upload data right into your brain. That way, you can’t lose them under the seat of your supersonic flying car.

3. Rich people have their own at-home medical device that looks like an MRI/tanning bed. It can be used to cure cancer or to make you look like an Asian supermodel. Poor people hoard bandages when they have leukemia.

4. Poor people have crudely-drawn, self-inflicted tattoos. Rich people have facial scars that are either delicate floral patterns or words like “I’m a Rich Dude” (in case you were confused).

5. Poor people are bilingual in English and Spanish. Rich people are bilingual in English and French and speak English with a Canadian accent. The only Asians in the future are Asian supermodels.

The best things about this movie were that it was short and Tom Cruise was not in it. Oh, and it was better than Prometheus, but I rank Sharknado higher than Prometheus, so don’t get too excited.

Note: I still want to see this movie but at least I won’t be so disappointed when I do. And I know not to drag my husband to see it.

General Elysium, Glennia Campbell, guest post, Matt Damon, movie review, sci-fi

Comments

  1. Jennifer says

    August 22, 2013 at 4:50 PM

    Oh, I’m glad I read this. I really wanted to see Elysium last Friday, but my mean husband made me see Blue Jasmine instead. Now I guess that was the right way to go after.
    Jennifer recently posted…Club Carlson: A View from the ClubMy Profile

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