I thought I would have to face it one day, perhaps in his teens – my child saying to me “I hate you” because of some horrible parental malfeasance. But no, far too soon, at age 4 and 3/4, last night he said “I don’t like you, Mom” because I made him stop playing Lego Star Wars so he could take a bath. When I ignored the comment, he said “I hate you.”
Instead of freaking out and carrying on, I simply walked him into his bedroom and said “five minute time out” as I closed the door behind me. When he came out again, he started to tell me that he had a bad day in school because none of the kids were playing with him, so I let the moment pass and brought up again right before he went to sleep.
“You know how you always tell me that hate is a bad word?” I asked.
He nodded, his sleepy little head scrunching farther into the fluffy pillow.
“Well, when you say ‘I hate you’ to me, it hurts my feelings. I know you don’t hate me,” I said.
“No. I’m sorry, Mommy.”
I kissed him on the freshly washed forehead. He smelled like a baby, and when he closed his eyes he looked more like his baby self.
“I love you, Mommy,” he whispered.
There’s a first time for everything. I suppose the first time your kid says “I hate you” could have gone much, much worse for me.
My guess is he was trying it out to see how you reacted. I say you passed with flying colors! Hang in there, Kimmy.
I've heard those words before, also when Heather wasn't getting her way… guess it is partly as JaxMom said, trying to test the reaction and partly not knowing how else to express frustration. I usually just reply non-chalantly "Well, I love you."
You handled that so well. How did I do when it was my turn?
Aww, I remember when this used to hurt my feelings! Now, it doesn't really phase me, but it's nice that they always apologize for it once they've calmed down.