Checkup: Years Six and Four
Kyle is 342 pounds, 7 feet tall, and has body odor like a hairy teenager. He's 97th percentile for height with no other discernible signs of early-onset puberty, so I just have to make sure he showers daily and uses a deodorant made with natural materials. Also, the doctor … [Read more...]
Just Another Normal Day at the Elementary School
Health clerk casually picks up walkie-talkie. "Joe, come in. Joe?" "Copy." "Joe, there's a blood clean-up in Mrs. W's class," she says. She looks up at me. "Where exactly?" "Uh, inside the door," I stammer. "It's inside the door." "I'm on it." "Great, … [Read more...]
All Hail “The System”
Except I'm the only one who hails it. See what I'm talking about in this video that is brought to you by Storitz, the leader in Los Angeles self storage. I was compensated for appearing in and posting this video. … [Read more...]
Blogging On My Knees
Since December I've been a physical mess. First I had a stress fracture in my left foot and spent a week in a boot. It was sexy, especially when I wore dresses. After that I started to feel better, walking for exercise and then hiring a trainer. But my back and left hip were … [Read more...]