Wordless Wednesday: Wii Family

IMG_9995

Props to the co-owner of Frost It Cupcakery in Thousand Oaks CA, who delivered these to my house personally. Swoon.

IMG_9991

Quick and Easy – My Kind of Holiday

Every holiday season, people look for ways to put a personal stamp on gift-giving or gestures of kindness or even to adopt traditions that make the holidays feel like their own.

mykindofholiday screenshot

I have developed a few things that I do with the kids for Christmas. We drive around town looking at holiday lights while drinking hot chocolate, usually on Christmas Eve while Daddy is helping prepare the house for Santa. We bake a ton of cookies to give to our neighbors with a little greeting tag included to remind them that we are thinking of them. And for gifts for our teachers and community members, well, that’s what we decided do show you in this video.

Target recently asked me what special things I like to do to make Christmas my kind of holiday. Watch as we have a ball assembling these inexpensive but lovely little gifts for the special teachers in our kids’ lives:


Please enable Javascript to watch this video

What inspires you and tells you it’s holiday season (finally!), and what are your own unique traditions? Share them on social media using the hashtag #mykindofholiday so we can follow along! Obviously, mine is going to involve chocolate chips and hot chocolate. Are you sensing a theme here?

artwork by Kyle!

artwork by Kyle!

This post is sponsored by Target.

Allowance Jars

What is the opposite of Pinterest? Because this is raw, homemade, unpretty stuff, but it works.

IMG_9481Nailed it!

When school started this fall I instituted allowance for Kyle, who is eight now and really good at math so I figured he can finally handle it. I threw Brady a bone by giving him the option to earn allowance too but at only 6 years old he’s not so interested in the value of a dollar because he thinks Mom and Dad can just buy everything. So for him, it’s really just symbolic.

Kyle wanted to buy the desktop version of Minecraft, though, which cost €19.95. Yikes! That’s $26.91 as of this moment. And Kyle already had the iPad version of Minecraft, so I didn’t want to just turn around and get that for him..without striking a deal.

IMG_9479

We drew up a list of daily chores for him, plus things he has to do on the weekends, and some jobs he can complete to earn extra money. For his diligent completion of his chores he earns $5.00 per week. He must split his money three ways:

  • Give 10%
  • Save 45%
  • Spend 45%

IMG_9478

The night we figured this all out, Kyle calculated that he’d be working for something like 24 cents a day. I am probably wrong on that math. I should film him working out the numbers. He can go on and on and on…

Kyle gets paid every Saturday, except when I forget. Then he is good about reminding me. Building up to buying Minecraft, every day was a countdown to the next payout. The first true test of our system was the weekend Kyle thought he had saved enough in the “Spend” jar to buy it. Unfortunately he had the 19.95 in his mind and forgot about the exchange rate, which I had explained to him when we first priced it out. We sat down to download the game and he counted out his money. $22.07. He needed $26.95 that day.

As the shortfall dawned on him his face fell, and he scrunched it up and started to cry. My heart broke for him, but only a little, because I knew this was a Teaching Moment. I stayed strong and did NOT make up the remaining amount. He worked hard that week to earn extra money to go with the $2 of spending money from his allowance that he could add to that amount. The next weekend we downloaded Minecraft on my laptop. I am not going to go into that topic here because OMG ALL THE TALKING. You parents whose children are obsessed with Minecraft know exactly what I mean. Those of you who don’t? Well, consider it one way to get your kid to talk to you, even if you will not understand one word.

Once Kyle blew his Spend jar on Minecraft he wasn’t as motivated by allowance to do chores. That’s fine with me. HE STILL HAS TO DO HIS CHORES. I pay attention to how much he gets done during the week but I haven’t docked his pay yet.

On Halloween he forgot to bring his Unicef box with him when we went trick-or-treating, so he put the contents of his Give jar (which he rebranded as “Charity”) into it. He was proud to give. I was proud of him.

So far, so good.

IMG_9485

 

Karma Gone Bad – Q&A With Author Jenny Feldon

Jenny and Jay at the Taj MahalAuthor Jenny Feldon and her husband

I’ve known Jenny Feldon for a few years now. As with many other friends from the blogging and social media worlds, I can’t actually remember the first time I met or corresponded with her. But it was definitely years after we both had become mothers. Reading her new book, Karma Gone Bad, a memoir of the years she lived in India while her husband was on a work assignment, I was treated to a whole new side of her. In this brave, wonderfully descriptive book, Jenny lays it all out – her petulant, big-city-girl difficulty adapting to a new culture, the struggle it caused in her young marriage, and her path to redemption.

While the idea of living in another country seems adventurous to me, especially for people who don’t have children, Jenny’s experience was fraught with food poisoning, depression, and extreme heat. That would depress me, too. But her recounting of the tale is magical in places, ripe with my favorite kind of writing – the kind that takes you there. 

Jenny recently treated me to the best kind of blog post in the world – one that someone else wrote, basically. Questions are mine, in bold:

karma gone bad cover

India was quite a while ago now but the whole story and even the conversations are so vivid. When writing this book, did you rely on notes, or photos, or journal entries – how did you remember everything that happened and what you felt in such detail? 

The blog I kept in India was incredibly helpful for remember specific details, moments and conversations. Photographs (our own and those taken by our families and friends) are also vital to the process. But mostly I’ve been blessed with a pretty awesome memory (my husband HATES arguing with me, I have almost total recall for past transgressions) that kept so many details as alive and fresh as the day they happened.

What was the hardest part of the book to write and why? 

I’ve gone through a huge personal transformation since the day I got on that plane for India. Revisiting–and having to live in the mind of–the pre-India me was surprisingly painful. Also embarrassing. No one really wants to go walking around like the worst version of themselves. It did, however, give me new insight and appreciation for how far I’ve come. Also, the scenes between Jay and I when our marriage was dissolving were incredibly painful. I cried buckets over my keyboard, which was a part of the process I wasn’t expecting. Sometimes I’d finish working late at night, and watch him sleeping and think “Thank God you’re still here.”

I was surprised to learn about the pre-mother side of you, which is surprising to me because I’m all about “Rah rah woman! We are not just mothers!” It brought to light a shocking “judge a book by its cover” mentality that I thought I didn’t have. In a way that felt parallel to your story in the book!  I do have a question here, and it is: what has been the reaction from other people in your present to reading about this experience of yours? 

Most people in my life have been incredibly supportive and I’m beyond-words grateful for that. Because so many people in our lives (we moved to LA after India) only know the “after” versions of us, I think there are definitely some revelations happening about who we are (and were.) About me, obviously (some good, some bad…just crossing my fingers people will keep loving me anyway!) and also about Jay, who is being an incredibly good sport about the whole thing.

In really good memoirs, people share not just their best selves, but their inner assholes, too, and I really appreciated your bravery in sharing your low moments. I felt this about what you shared regarding your marriage, too, in parts, especially because as a blogger, I have always been wary of writing about my marital struggles even though everyone has them. What were your conversations like with your husband when you decided to write this book and share such intimate feelings about your marriage during that time?

My inner asshole gets a LOT of air time in this book. My friend Claire Bidwell Smith says in every memoir, the writer should be the villain of the story and that’s definitely true in Karma Gone Bad…I’m for sure the worst character in the book. Jay has been 1000% supportive of this book, and was actually the first (and only) person to read it before I sent the original manuscript draft to my publisher. I would never have done this without his blessing, and I’m grateful every day for his endless support for me and for this dream.

This is going to sound stupid but how do you do it? Parenting, wifing, blogging, editing, being generally fabulous, and writing a book? HOW?! No matter how many times you answer this question, remember that everyone reading your answer will love it because it’s their first time.

It’s actually a work in progress. And it’s FAR from a perfect science. I drink a lot of coffee. I don’t get much sleep. I work for several hours every night after the kids go to bed, 7 days a week. Showering is not a high priority. I try to put my kids first, always. The hardest part is focusing on doing each thing well–I’m forever guilty of sneaking in a few emails while we’re at the park, or sneaking off to play Candyland when I’m supposed to be working. I’m terrible at returning phone calls and even worse with emails. It’s sort of miracle I have any friends at all. But I’m doing the best I can. Every day I try to do a little bit more and a little bit better, with a lot of deep breaths along the way. Also a lot of coffee…did I mention the coffee?

Did you ever write the novel? What is happening with that?

Nope. Not yet, anyway. I still really want to. I have this dream of writing the sequel to Karma Gone Bad (working title: Baby Karma) but after that I want to get back to my roots as a fiction writer. I love fiction, and the experience of turning my experiences into a narrative have made me even more eager to tackle a novel. I’ve become much more realistic about writing the Great American kind, but writing a kind-of-good one is a dream I still want to chase.

Now that it’s out in the world, what is your biggest fear about Karma Gone Bad? What is your greatest hope?

My biggest fear was that people would hate it. And while that’s still definitely possible, the incredible outpouring of love and support from the people in my life has put it to rest. If nothing else ever happens with the book, knowing how many friends and family members have come out in support of me and of the book, and how many of them seem to truly enjoy it, is the true definition of success for me, even if they are the only ones that ever buy copies.

My greatest hope is that people will read my story and find something in it that they can relate to, that resonates with their own personal journey. You don’t have to travel to a far-off country to have a personal awakening, to screw up your marriage, to look in the mirror and realize you aren’t the person you wanted to be. Searching for identity and learning to find beauty in small moments are universal challenges, and I hope people read Karma Gone Bad and feel a sense of connection, maybe even inspiration.

What are you sending to Venkat [her indispensable driver in Hyderabad] when you make your first million?

Confession: We can’t find Venkat. He disappeared from Hyderabad shortly after we returned to the US and despite our best and most well-connected friends searching, we haven’t been able to find or communicate with him. If anyone knows where he is, I’ll send a reward! He was such a wonderful person and friend, and I think about him every day. My hope is that he’s happily married to Swapna, raising his beloved goats and surrounded by a bunch of kids with fabulous hair.