In my parents’ town there is a twice-yearly event called Bulky Item Pickup, during which you can put large items out on the curb in front of your house and the trash trucks will pick them up. The day was Monday, but since last weekend was a holiday, it took a few days to clear all of the curbs in town. On various walks and drives I have seen TV’s, disassembled play structures, furniture in varying states of sag, and an organ. Like the kind you play.
I love the idea of Bulky Item Pickup. I wish there was such an event for the soul. A regular cleaning-out. As I walked along the beach at the end of the Long Island Sound, I felt lucky to be able to come here and clear my head, free for a short hour of the chaotic sounds of little boys.
This Dunkin Donuts location was the birthplace of my lifelong coffee addiction.
In high school, my bus stop was right out front. On cold winter days we would wait inside, and naturally we’d buy things. I started drinking coffee “light and sweet” – with lots of cream and sugar, when I was 16.
I slowly evolved over the years to this sad blend of coconut milk creamers (French Vanilla flavor mixed with plain, because I am a delicate flower who likes her coffee just so), but my all time favorite is Dunkin Donuts hazelnut regular. Where I come from, “regular” means cream and sugar. DD staffers put the goods right in the cup for you, no self-mixing necessary.
I arrived in Hartford with my children on the redeye this morning, having not slept much at all because they are so big now that every fidget wakes me up. I napped for four hours, and then later I decided that maybe I could just go without coffee today, see how that goes.
My body chemistry is just that way now, and I’m on vacation. This is no time to mess with it.
It’s easy enough to hide behind your Facebook profile or the creepy dating app that you use, but what happens in REAL LIFE when you are tongue-tied or caught in an awkward situation?
Remember a long time ago there were weird little calling cards? They’re back! Tear-Out Cards from Ulysses Press can handle any weirdness, as long as you have the balls to actually give one to somebody. Each pack is $7.95 and would make a great gift for the right person.
For the screwup: Sorry I Had Sex on Your Bed: And Other Tear-Out Apologies for Your Awkward Screwups
Includes “I’m sorry I tagged that picture of you on Facebook” and “I’m sorry I tried to spice things up without asking first.” #yikes
For the annoyed: Seriously?! Delightfully Passive Aggressive Cards
A riotous collection of cards designed to be left for roommates, frenemies, coworkers, strangers, and neighbors who’ve Gone. Too. Far. Examples: “Maybe tomorrow I could pet your elephants? –your downstairs neighbor” and “Touch my lunch again and I’ll cut you.”
If they made one to give to neighbors who let their dogs roam the streets or bark incessantly, I would totally use it.
For my single/divorced friends: You’re Cute: Cards to Break the Ice
Capture the attention of someone new. Favorites include “This is me flirting with you…” and “It was either this or a Missed Connection.”
For anyone in Los Angeles: Parking Tickets: For Those Who’ve Crossed the Line
Cards to leave on the windshields of badly parked cars. Try “I used to park like this. Then I turned 6.” or “Hope you’re better between the sheets than you are between the lines.”
I received a set of cards for this feature. I haven’t figured out who is getting one yet.