Sh*t I Say: “I’m Going Upstairs To Stretch and Get Dressed”

Today is the tenth day of the April A to Z Challenge.  During this month I will be writing blog posts every day (with breaks on Sundays) about the topic “Sh*t I Say” starting with each consecutive letter of the alphabet.  This is one crazy project, y’all.

I’m going upstairs to stretch and get dressed.

This is one of those things that I say on every weekday morning, and sometimes on the weekends, too. And this post is the kind of post that made early blog-haters make fun of bloggers – no one cares what you had for lunch – because this post is about the mundane details of my life that make it uniquely mine.

I’m like a toddler: I need my routine. I thrive on it. I do also welcome a special event every now and then, but I have to admit that I function much more efficiently and to my own liking when every day has a predictable pattern. Given the events of the last week or so (last-minute trip to CT, spring break for Kyle), my schedule is off, and so I feel off balance. As such, my office is a mess. I’m three loads behind in the laundry rotation, I think some bills are due, and I have no idea what I’m making for dinner.

First world problems, yes. Don’t worry, I’m not in a tizzy. I’m just sayin’.

Part of my morning routine is after I get up, make a half pot of coffee just for me, and slap together lunches for all three of the boys, I take my second cup o’joe with me and I announce to my family “I’m going upstairs to stretch and get dressed!” and then I go upstairs.

There is one main reason for this announcement. It is meant to make them all leave me alone for a few minutes. I need a minimum of 7 minutes to do my morning stretches, which are critical to the function of my musculoskeletal system. I learned these stretches from Super Physical Therapist Vivian Eisenstadt last year during my summer-long therapy to heal and strengthen my busted lower back. I use a Thera-band stretch strap, which is a long cloth band that has loops in it, and allows me to stick a foot in one end and then use it to pull my leg towards my upper body. There are three main stretches on each side that I do every day. If I have plenty of time before we have to leave for school, I turn on some TV to keep me company while I stretch, but then I lose count and wind up stretching for longer, which isn’t a bad thing. Lately the show I’ve been watching in 15 minute increments is “Smash.” Guilty pleasure, what can I say?

More often than not, “I’m going upstairs to stretch and get dressed” also means “I’m going upstairs to stretch and get dressed and quickly check my email and Twitter and Facebook and maybe my text messages too. And I might even dash off a quick blog post if I’m feeling the flow, which means we will indeed run late.”

And after all that of course I do have to get dressed, and if I had any plans to take a shower, those plans are sure to be squashed by the aforementioned last-minute activity, which means on any given day, you’re probably right when you surmise that I haven’t washed my hair in days.