Image from Hyperbole and a Half
This is what we learned last night in Childbirth Class: there are three ways your labor can go, and they are Pretty Bad, Worse, and Even Worse Than That.
Pretty Bad: You can try labor without drugs, and look and sound like the screaming moaners on TLC’s “A Baby Story.”
Worse: You can get an epidural, which kills the pain a little bit, but then you risk paralysis, death, and a drunk baby.
Even Worse Than That: Some crazy shit goes down during your labor and they have to CUT YOU to take the baby out via C-section, thereby rendering your midsection useless for weeks. And then you’re stuck at home with a newborn and you can’t even get up.
After careful consideration of about 2 seconds I chose Worse – if all of the choices are bad, I might as well at least get to use drugs for the one time it’s sanctioned during pregnancy.
Oh yeah, we are living parallel lives. I SO choose “Worse”.
I was somewhat disappointed that our birthing class did not feature the extra DVD footage of a placenta delivery. Oh well. We did get to watch a woman deliver her own baby while underwater. That was…weird.
Hi – Thank you for the comment you left on my blog. Congrats on your pregnancy! I also went for “worse” … my argument to all those advocates of “natural” childbirth is that God invented those beautiful drugs for a reason and we ought to use them!
I would recatogorize “worse” to “sent from heaven”. At least that is what I felt about the anesthesiologist after my epidural! Forget about God inventing the drugs for us to use- thank all of us pharmacologists. I’m sure it was a woman who invented the epidural!