I returned from “vacation” with the husband and kids Sunday night at 1AM. The trip was less and more painful than I expected. The children were better behaved on the airplanes this time, but the younger one is now fascinated with stairs, and it was 8 degrees outside and we were cooped up inside most of the time. The family and friend visits were, of course, wonderful and heartwarming and I did enjoy watching the kids interact with them. Brady picked up lots of new words like “cold” and “okay!” and “wow!” and his babbling in Pan-Asian-sounding gibberish has taken on a new speed and intricacy. Kyle spent the week educating everyone he encountered about the solar system, and developing a new addiction to solar system videos on YouTube. Stewart got to play racquetball with my dad every day, and rack up manly sports-related injuries one at a time.
I…well. There were a lot of fun events and moments but I was haunted.
I’ve been back to my hometown many times since I moved in 1995, with and without my spouse, with and without my children. I’ve created a wealth of new memories. I’ve cherished my ability to travel back there without looking back.
But this time.
Suddenly, I saw everything around me through older eyes. Memories from before I left assaulted me at every turn, and this time they reminded me that I am softer, grayer, tired, less likely to try to change the world.
But wiser. From this perspective, I can remember things that happened and wonder if they would have turned out differently if I’d had the patience to see that time is wasted on the young, who have all the time in the world but no patience at all. And now that I have patience (okay, some patience) the time is gone.
Dancing at my epic going-away party, 1995.
Whoa! Its like looking in a mirror, when I was 24.
Hey! Just wanted to stop by and say that it was nice to meet you today at JG’s house!
Kimmy – We are all a bit softer and grayer and more tired. And it is okay. Fortunately for me, anytime I start to get to that point where going “home” starts to have memories like that, my parents move. To a new state.
I did however develop the film on a disposable camera that Jacks found on Friday, and spent the weekend using up.
I discovered 3 pics from my last trip to South Bend, the weekend before I believe I got pregnant with Jackons (it was my last pre-baby period week). Wow. I DID look young, and healthy, and thin. I think I am going to post about that….
Love you!
I just wanted to point out that you have two beautiful little boys who can accomplish wonderful things in their lifetimes… You still have time to change the world through them 🙂
LisaD
Hmm- reflective lately? Does that mean we are getting older?
So you answered your own question. This is exactly what you were crying over in NY. You were very haunted and reflective of our youth!
🙁
How did you get Kyle hooked on the solar system? The only thing Luke talks about is superheroes – and he doesn’t watch TV or anything superhero related. It’s getting really old.