Sorry about the lapse in posting – I’ve been sick…again. When will it end? When Brady goes to college?
This sickness came about right around Brady’s first day of daycare. I am working every Tuesday in my friend’s office, so Brady goes with his big brother to DayLady’s house for the full day. So far he’s doing well, although on the first day when I dropped him off, another parent came in with her baby saying that she had a fever and she was about to take her to the doctor…but not before she exposed every other kid to the germs! Thanks a lot!
This cold is another message from my body and my overtaxed mind to slow the eff down. I have taken on a lot of work lately and once my head filled up with cotton I was forced to shift priorities. I only have one week left before a two-week trip back to CT with the boys, so it’s time to get serious.
One thing that I had to cancel yesterday was a visit with my friend Jinous. I haven’t seen her in over a year. I met her in 1997 when I first starting getting…groomed. I had gone to a beauty salon for the services but I was too scared to go beyond unwanted facial hair. It was only after she poached me from the salon when I ran into her at a yoga class that I started seeing her at her mini-salon in her apartment, and then after about a year that I got brave enough to subject myself to a bikini wax.
As anyone who has ever had a bikini wax knows, this is an intimate process, and so I forged a loyalty to Jinous, not wanting to have to start over with anyone else, ever. When I was young and unmarried I saw her every four weeks and her services quickly grew to include impromptu relationship and life counseling. I invited her to my parties and sent her Christmas cards. When I had Kyle I even brought him with me until he started to crawl.
Once Kyle got busier I didn’t go back to see her very often, and then one time in 2006 I called to make an appointment and she made it obvious that something was going on. When I got to her door I knew right away – she was sick. Her skin, usually luminescent, was pocked and dry. Her big brown eyes had lost some life, and her thick hair was brittle and matted. Even so, she looked like she had done her best to seem presentable. I demanded to know what was wrong.
“I have lung cancer,” she said.
I was floored. The last person I knew who had lung cancer was my maternal grandmother who died less than 6 months after I found out about her diagnosis back in 1992. To me, lung cancer = death sentence. Jinous was the healthiest person I knew – never smoked in her 50+ years, eating well, exercising, taking vitamins, and always talking about the latest health gadget or supplement she was trying, like shoes with weird heels that were supposed to increase your ion flow or something like that.
Suddenly, my unwanted body hair seemed insignificant. We carried on with our session but that was the last time I saw her. It was October 1996. I called her in January to see how she was, but she was undergoing chemotherapy and too tired to talk. Then I waited a whole year to call her again, too afraid that if I dialed her number I would hear that “this number has been disconnected” message.
Finally a few weeks ago I just picked up the phone and called. She answered. We were both so happy to hear each other’s voices. She was doing okay, she said, although the cancer had spread to her liver and other organs. She planned to start experimental therapies in the new year. She wanted to know how my new baby is doing.
I sent her our holiday card and then we made plans for a visit. That was yesterday. I didn’t go because Brady and I are both sick and it is unwise to expose a cancer patient to the common cold. However, we are planning to try again next week if the baby and I are better.
This actually buys me some time. I want to bring her something, but I don’t know what. I would have stopped to get some flowers yesterday if I did go. I’ve never actually visited a cancer patient so I am not sure how to proceed. I know the baby will be a mood-lifter, but I really want to bring something that I leave there that will help. What do you suggest?
Kim,
Such a horrible story my jaw just dropped reading it. Allthough pot might help I would ask first but the most important gift to bring is you . Believe me that will work wonders.
I will keep her in my prayers.
Looking forward to seeing you guys.
Love,
Uncle Steve
Kim,
Such a horrible story my jaw just dropped reading it. Allthough pot might help I would ask first but the most important gift to bring is you . Believe me that will work wonders.
I will keep her in my prayers.
Looking forward to seeing you guys.
Love,
Uncle Steve
Kim,
Such a horrible story my jaw just dropped reading it. Allthough pot might help I would ask first but the most important gift to bring is you . Believe me that will work wonders.
I will keep her in my prayers.
Looking forward to seeing you guys.
Love,
Uncle Steve
Hey you visited me the day after I got out of the hospital, remember. As to what to bring, my best advice is call and ask. If she says nothing then probably just company is the best, but then who doesn’t like chocolate assuming she isn’t feeling too pukey..
Hey you visited me the day after I got out of the hospital, remember. As to what to bring, my best advice is call and ask. If she says nothing then probably just company is the best, but then who doesn’t like chocolate assuming she isn’t feeling too pukey..
Hey you visited me the day after I got out of the hospital, remember. As to what to bring, my best advice is call and ask. If she says nothing then probably just company is the best, but then who doesn’t like chocolate assuming she isn’t feeling too pukey..
Just ask her and say that you would really like to bring something. Food is usually appreciated! Maybe make some banana bread. Just a thought. Hope she is doing better.
Just ask her and say that you would really like to bring something. Food is usually appreciated! Maybe make some banana bread. Just a thought. Hope she is doing better.
Just ask her and say that you would really like to bring something. Food is usually appreciated! Maybe make some banana bread. Just a thought. Hope she is doing better.
Nothing like a story like this to make one realize the pettiness of most of their problems, eh? It took my breath away.
Your company will be the biggest gift. But an offer to run any errands or pick up a favorite treat (Starbucks? Slurpee? Ice cream?) might be nice! Or how about sharing some favorite tunes, books or movies? Always nice if you’re feeling lonely or not able to be out and about.
~Noelle
Nothing like a story like this to make one realize the pettiness of most of their problems, eh? It took my breath away.
Your company will be the biggest gift. But an offer to run any errands or pick up a favorite treat (Starbucks? Slurpee? Ice cream?) might be nice! Or how about sharing some favorite tunes, books or movies? Always nice if you’re feeling lonely or not able to be out and about.
~Noelle
Nothing like a story like this to make one realize the pettiness of most of their problems, eh? It took my breath away.
Your company will be the biggest gift. But an offer to run any errands or pick up a favorite treat (Starbucks? Slurpee? Ice cream?) might be nice! Or how about sharing some favorite tunes, books or movies? Always nice if you’re feeling lonely or not able to be out and about.
~Noelle
What about an empty frame? Then, while you’re there you could take a picture of all of you if you’ve got a timer on your camera, and then you can bring the photo to put in the frame on the next visit. Might sound hokey, but if you don’t get to see each other often, then seeing your face in the photo and remembering the great visits might be great. The biggest and best thing, though, will simply be your presence and time…I’ll bet she’s really looking forward to it. I really liked Noelle’s suggestions about offering to run errands and so on, too.
What about an empty frame? Then, while you’re there you could take a picture of all of you if you’ve got a timer on your camera, and then you can bring the photo to put in the frame on the next visit. Might sound hokey, but if you don’t get to see each other often, then seeing your face in the photo and remembering the great visits might be great. The biggest and best thing, though, will simply be your presence and time…I’ll bet she’s really looking forward to it. I really liked Noelle’s suggestions about offering to run errands and so on, too.
What about an empty frame? Then, while you’re there you could take a picture of all of you if you’ve got a timer on your camera, and then you can bring the photo to put in the frame on the next visit. Might sound hokey, but if you don’t get to see each other often, then seeing your face in the photo and remembering the great visits might be great. The biggest and best thing, though, will simply be your presence and time…I’ll bet she’s really looking forward to it. I really liked Noelle’s suggestions about offering to run errands and so on, too.
I ditto all of Noelle’s suggestions and would also say maybe a gift certificate to a cleaning service. If she doesn’t feel too crappy to clean her house at this point, I bet there will be a day when she does.
I ditto all of Noelle’s suggestions and would also say maybe a gift certificate to a cleaning service. If she doesn’t feel too crappy to clean her house at this point, I bet there will be a day when she does.
I ditto all of Noelle’s suggestions and would also say maybe a gift certificate to a cleaning service. If she doesn’t feel too crappy to clean her house at this point, I bet there will be a day when she does.
I think the empty photo frame idea from above is a good one. So she knows you will come back and has something nice to look forward to.
I think the empty photo frame idea from above is a good one. So she knows you will come back and has something nice to look forward to.
I think the empty photo frame idea from above is a good one. So she knows you will come back and has something nice to look forward to.