I know. It’s a stretch for me to be opinionated. I’m really quite shy and unassuming. But this time I couldn’t hold it in.
Over at Being Savvy San Fernando, the national topic today is pirates. I know pirates are supposed to be the alternate to playing princess for little boys, but I have a thing about violent toys and role-playing for very young children. I’ve been resisting toy guns and anything suggestively violent for all of my kids’ lives so far. One friend told me that she was getting her son a toy sword for his birthday, and I couldn’t help grilling her. How does he even know what a sword is? He saw it in a movie. What movie? I don’t remember. Don’t you pay attention to what he watches? His dad let him watch it. Doesn’t his dad-?
And on and on. I really do make it a practice to abstain from judgmental comments or attitudes towards other mothers. At least to their faces. But I couldn’t stop myself with this sword thing. Fast forward a few months and this mom had to take the sword away from her son because…he was using it to hit people. Hmm.
I feel the same way about water pistols and those enormous water rifle toys. I know there’s only water in it, but the image of my child with a gun in his hand is more than I can bear, especially when I hear or read stories about children being shot in and around the city I live in almost every single day. While I still have some control over the things my kids play with, I will exercise it, and I will use my powers for good.
As such, I planned to skip this pirate post on Being Savvy that was coming up. To explain – there’s a national blog that has its own topics, and the city guides tie in to it every Tuesday with a list of cool things to do that go along with that day’s theme. We have the calendar for the whole month, and we can choose to follow the themes for other days if we want to. A whole slew of other city editors were tying into the pirate theme, and I figured I would not, since I don’t have anything nice to say about pirates. I think they, as role-playing figures, fall in line with pretending to be soldiers, or bad witch doctors, or Michael Vick.
So, see? I was going to keep my mouth shut. I was going to blog about how gardening can be educational and fun for your preschooler, or some new local music I found that the kids love.
But then I sat down tonight and started typing and surfing the web and voila. This is what came out. I think it’s pretty tame, and it gets my point across, and I even get some activities listed in there. I may have crossed a line just a tiny little bit, but darn it, I have a strong opinion about this, and it will not be contained. Please go over and leave a comment now, while you can, before I get fired.
Also you should start leaving comments because I am going to start having free stuff to give away and I’d really hate to offer it up to the zero people who read that blog. Don’t you know it’s sad to blog in a vacuum?
Since you asked for comments… since I have a daughter, I can jump all over the princess thing. Princess are pretty, sweet, demure, get rescued by knights in shiny armor, etc. I want my daughter to be smart and tough and kick you-know-what when needed. Maybe girls should play pirate and boys should play princess and everyone can combat gender stereotypes.
LisaD
I thought it was very well written — here, here for good pirates!
We don’t let the boys have fake guns, but I don’t mind the swords. A guy needs to defend himself.
I’m with you Kim and lent my coments to your wonderful article. I’ll never understand it – “Here honey! Here’s a pretend deadly weapon, now go have fun pretending to kill people!” I fully acknowledge boys are wired differently from girls and roleplaying is an important form of play. So lets get creative with your boys. Why actively nurture violent thoughts and behavior, even if it is pretend?
But wouldn’t it be a good thing to have your boys use guns to stop the bad pirates? What if the bad pirates were raping and pillaging? Would you want your sons to ask them to stop or give them some power to rescue? Not all violence is bad, only violence directed against the innocent. Violence against the the evil doing evil could be good?
Besides who will rescue the princesses of the world – the nice, well-spoken, non-violent knight or the one that can swing his mace and joust properly? Let the “good pirates” play with pretend weapons -just make sure they ONLY use them against the bad pirates. Now let’s see – where do I store this soapbox….
As the mother of a daughter who is VERY into all things princess right now, I like Lisa D’s comment! I agree with you on holding off on guns and violence as long as possible. Reality is, be it pirates or chocolate, our kids will find out about them soon enough. I think it is our job as parents not to be the ones to introduce them and then to moderate and teach when they inevitably come along. And, good for you for expressing your opinion!
As a new mother I agree that violent toys are not the way, but like Lisa said it is inevitable. When that time comes I hope to be the role modle my son needs to understand and respect firearms.
Growing up my mother felt the same way as you–my brother was not allowed violent toys…a sentiment I wholey agree with. Now that Aliza is around I have had many conversations with my husband about not playing violent video games in front of her too….
Kim
If more parents felt as you do, then maybe we wouldn’t wake up every morning with another violent killing in the headlines, Unfortunately it’s usually an innocent bystander who is the victim. Keep them gardning it’s also healthier. Love to all
I agree, it is very sad to blog in a vacuum. I also agree that pirates are violent. But its who they are and I don’t blame them. Pirates, however, are teddy bears compared to Transformers. Those seem to bring out the worst in my boys. I caught them using flip-flops as guns the other day. What is a mom to do?
I’m with you on the violent toys, but I’ll go one further and say that the whole Princess thing is far more destructive to girls than the Pirate thing to boys.