My mother has been nagging me to change the profile photo on my blog for a very long time. Especially since I decided to try blonde hair for the first time last fall.
So. There you have it ——>.
It’s taken a while because I have a lot on my plate and things like dicking around with the way my blog looks are not very high up on my priority list, except when they suddenly are. Suddenly, today, this was.
I’m different now. My life will never be the same. I’m older. I had several spots of actinic keratosis frozen off my face this morning with liquid nitrogen. That happens to “older adults.”
I’m sadder. The grief I have faced sometimes gets duller, but it’s never really gone.
So finally this morning, when adding a new link to my “about me” page, I decided to update the photo there and change the profile pic, too, to a recent photo of myself that I like. As I clicked “delete” on the now-famous cowboy hat pic, I realized I had something to say about it.
When this picture was taken at the end of 2008, my Uncle Stephen was alive. My Grampa was alive. Lisa was alive. But also, I was overweight and angry all the time, even though I had these beautiful children and this husband and this career and this house and all the other theses and thises. A lifetime of blessings doesn’t make a person happy, even though it seems like it should.
I’m happy now, even though I am often sad. I wish I could point to what changed, but I think it’s something vague. Something like getting older.
Kim, I know exactly what you mean. It’s a complicated journey.
The new picture is beautiful, though I must admit if I saw it out of context I might not recognize my curly brunette friend. It’s a beautiful a metaphor for transformation. That and you just plain look like a hottie!
You look wonderful- confident, wise, mature-stunning, really. I just read something, though with my 40-something brain can’t remember where or the exact words, something like, “there is no happiness without sadness.”
Also maybe quitting the day job with the commute helped?
Thank you, my friends!
Kim, I just read that too. And my 40 brain can’t remember where, either. Bah.
What a great picture! Hope you don’t mind if I download and get it professionally printed!
LOVE the new picture!
What an amazing journey you have been on. And you still look AMAZING! LOVE you in blond hair!
So Glam! (I’m slowly working on the happy part. And maybe the overweight. First one, then maybe the other with better consistency.)
Kim – I so feel the same… on the happiness not being tied to blessings and on the being happy even though you are sad. I think it is partly age, but also the maturity that comes with age… outlook, perspective… great post!
OMG! You are gorgeous. You were gorgeous in your cowboy hat, but not glamorous. Now you’re glamorous. Of course I’m sure that’s because you live so close to Hollywood. The glitz must rub off, musn’t it? (is musn’t a word?) Funny that you look so happy in your cowboy hat picture and you weren’t. Maybe just innocent. I dunno.
Try not 2 look so far outside the box
From time to time i feel the same way we put everything n everyone before ourself. We feel like we have lost it. I head to the gym, play with my girls, take a shower and put on my sexy. Next morning we are both doing good…;)
Amen. To your blog. And you are beautiful… I like both pictures.
I have 3 pairs of reading glasses that I can never find to help read the computer screen. And have you noticed all the teeny tiny print they’re using now that is so hard to read?
How did my eyes know I turned forty?
re: your “that mom, Blog.” I aspire to that Mom, and so proud of you to embrace it.
You’re a “getting older” success story! Next stop: Menopause! woo hoo! 😉
Kim,
I LOVE that picture of you. You look GORGEOUS girlfriend! And I also loved this blog. And I totally get it. Yes, being older definitely has its benefits. And I’m so glad you’re happier now, even in your sadness.