HOP Review: Life As We Know It

Or, Lessons I’ve Learned From Katherine Heigl Movies

“Life As We Know It” is the latest in Katherine Heigl’s string of seeming misadventures in the world of romantic comedy dealing with less than comic situations (a surprise pregnancy, a surprise assassin husband, and now a surprise toddler!).  I caught the trailer out of the corner of my consciousness and immediately dismissed it as a waste of my time.  The trailer and all of the other advertising make the movie seem like the same old same old, you know what I mean?

I saw it last week at a preview screening, to which I dragged my friend Tania with the added bribe that we would get some girlfriend time out of the house and a tasty cocktail.  There would also be, I was told, the chance to drool over Josh Duhamel, who had never before entered my mind in any way.

The film beats you over the head with it, but yes, he’s rather yummy-looking.  And his character is a self-interested, unconcerned whore of a bachelor who rides a motorcycle to work, revels in his one-night stands, and has not a care in the world beyond rising through the ranks of sports television.  Even his name is obvious:  Messer.

In the opposite corner, there’s Molly, Katherine’s character, an ambitious, responsible, prim young woman who naturally can’t stand Messer.  With the stereotypical setup handled and out of the way, the filmmakers then press the first button.  Molly and Messer’s best girlfriend and best guy friend, who happen to be married to each other, are killed in a car accident and as it turns out, they have chosen these polar opposites to be the joint guardians of their one-year-old, Sophie.

Ugh, setup handled, now I can get to my point.

10 Lessons From Katherine Heigl Movies

1.  Katherine Heigl movies are not always what they seem.  I cried through most of “Life As We Know It.”  That reminded me of “The Family Stone:” another “comedy” that is a multi-Kleenex weeper.  I should have known this film would make me cry.  Just say the words “orphaned toddler” to me and I get teary-eyed.

2.  “Knocked Up” Wear a condom, or always have one with you, you idiot.

3.  “I Married An Assassin” (or whatever that movie’s name was with Ashton Kutcher) You might want to get to know the guy you marry a little bit before you marry him.

4.  “Life As We Know It” Draw up your will, your revocable trust, and guardianship instructions, especially if you have a child.  Also, get life insurance.

5.  Romantic comedies bash men too much.  In “Life As We Know It,” the Greek chorus of neighborhood couples includes several fathers who are harried, stupid, or have wandering eyes.  Only Messer gets to have any redeeming qualities, and he’s ostensibly the bad guy.  That’s another issue I have with the advertising:  it doesn’t do this character justice.  In truth, he’s a regular guy doing his own thing, which is just fine.  And when the shit hits the fan, he steps up and does the right thing, which is all that counts.

6.  Spit-up and poop continue to be mined for comedy, with disastrous results.  Man, haven’t we seen enough “don’t jostle the baby or she’ll barf on you” jokes?  Or “ew that poop is disgusting” jokes?  Those scenes alone make “Life As We Know It” a Netflix selection vs. movie-ticket worthy.

7.  Trying not to cry, as I did during this film and “Knocked Up,” makes my head hurt, and I should just give up the facade and weep.  It’s far less painful.

8.  Eleven isn’t too young to be a good babysitter.

9.  Men who are good with kids are super sexy.  Especially if they look like Josh Duhamel.  And not if they look like Seth Rogen.  Okay so that applies only to the last movie.  I was stretching there.

10.  Other people’s problems, if fake, good-looking, and easily resolved, make great escapism.  Despite the heavy parts, “Life As We Know It” was indeed a distracting bit of entertainment.

I attended a complimentary screening of this movie and received a gift card from Mom Central to facilitate this review.