My friend Noelle takes a Zumba class. A new Zumba class started at my gym. Friends on Twitter recommended it. So, after a long day at work, and driving through two sets of dismal traffic, I went to my first class tonight. Here’s what I learned:
1. Zumba is dancing, with some squats, punches, and hip grinding thrown in. Oh yeah, just picture me trying it.
2. The teacher was HOT. Like, early Jennifer Lopez hot, before she got all “Motherhood…changes you.”
3. In fact, most of the people in the class were thin. There were a small handful of regular sized people, but most were thin and looked great in tight pants. I do not count myself among them.
4. Zumba tried to kill me. I came in to the class late, so my only warmup was my jog to the gym from my parking space on the far side of the parking lot. I hopped right in and tried the routines, and after ten minutes I was sweating like a pig, my face red and pulsing, and convinced I would never breathe normally again.
5. In this class, it was okay to stop and watch for a bit while my lungs rested. It was also okay to take the steps a little slower, a little less peppily (yes it’s now a word), and…badly. Many years ago I tried a hip-hop dance class at my old gym, and after it ended the teacher came up to me and said “Honey, are you okay?” with dismay and even some disdain. He made it clear that I was not encouraged to return.
6. The best place for a person like me was at the back of the class, so nobody could look forward and watch me make an ass out of myself.
7. Contrary to its inappropriateness in yoga, clapping is allowed in the Zumba.
8. Zumba is NOT a combination of Zima and a Roomba.
9. Nor is it a giant plastic ball that you roll down a hill in.
10. I’ll be back next week.
Glad you’re going back, it really is fun, just too too much for my damn arthritis.
Sounds hilarious. I’ll go with you sometime if you want.
@adrienne Yeah, ME TOO. Oh wait, I don’t have arthritis. Just OUT OF SHAPENESS. Bad excuse.
love it.
And here I was, all curious, thinking I should be doing this Zumba thing and you’ve completely wiped out any sense of envy I may have had. So THANKS for that!
Yay – glad you’re going to give it another go! I was keenly aware of our likewise ‘hot’ instructor stifling a chuckle at my face’s alarming shade of magenta the first time I tried it. But it gets easier. And more addictive! And if you want to surround yourselves with very ‘regular’ looking women and no skinny minnies, come on down to my class!
I tried it one night. AND I was going to go back. But then I got a sinus infection. The end. No actually, I still may try to go back. But not this week.
Hah–funny post! My 7-year old decided to spend his special day playing soccer! Umm, with whom, honey, we can’t just round up your team at the last minute!
Child: You and Daddy can play against me and my brother!
Me: OK….let’s see how that works
20 minutes later, hubby and I want to lay down and DIE from lack of breath and the children are cackling over us.
So strange how I never heard about this until a couple of months ago but now it’s everywhere. I don’t think I’ll be trying it, though, I have absolutely no ability to follow directions shouted by an instructor (tried aerobics and yoga before). I need to start doing more exercise on my Wii Fit Plus. =)
Somehow this seems attractive to me. I’ve been wondering what exactly Zumba is. Thanks for the details. Now I have to figure out how I can fit it into my life.
Maybe a chiropractor will sponsor me. By the time I get through every one in the room will be in need of adjustment and or therapy.
Now I totally want one of those big plastic balls you can roll down hills in. Except for the inevitability of ballsickness.