This was an original post for LA Moms Blog on December 31, 2008. SV Moms Group was acquired by Technorati so I post my archives here on Fridays.
Earlier this month, the Los Angeles Times published an article titled “Hollywood’s mommy network,” by Monica Corcoran. I read it with interest, because I am a working Hollywood mommy (although not anywhere near as busy, well-paid, or powerful as any of the women described), and because I’ve been ruminating over the topic of children as networking tools.
My first instinct is that baby as networking tool is Bad, the way high fructose corn syrup or SpongeBob Squarepants are bad. After all, joining a playgroup so you can get that precious pitch meeting with a network executive is not the reason you should be having babies. If your project ever got picked up, you wouldn’t see that baby until he graduated from elementary school, anyway.
But as Ariana Huffington allegedly once said, “the jet was flying there anyway.” If you have a baby, and you work in the business, why NOT use that one thing you have in common (besides a vagina, which is no longer a credible networking tool) to schmooze your way into the inner circle? Motherhood can be a great equalizer, making friends out of two people who would never give each other a second glance, only because they are both dealing with spirited three-year-olds, clogged ducts, or potty training. Universal topics. What better ice-breaker is there than “How do you get your little boy to pee in the toilet instead of on the floor?”
It works that way in any industry. I started blogging after I got pregnant in 2004, so I instantly fell into the Mommy category, of which I am proud. My writing about the experience of parenting has opened up doors for me, and when I encounter another parent who shares a similar tale, I want to connect with her. In fact, a Hollywood gig about mommy bloggers, run by a woman who is part of this network, introduced me – in real life – to some great new colleagues and eventually led to paid gigs.
Corcoran quotes a Sony executive, who says that sharing pictures of one’s children is a great way to open a meeting. “Talking about kids is a way to bond more intimately as human beings,” the executive says. Sure, if you’re stuck in a production meeting and everyone there is over 35 and has a kid or two, that kind of bonding can be helpful and relieving.
The growing number of mothers in the entertainment industry is a great sign that we are taken seriously as artists and business people. But there’s a difference between commiserating with a colleague about being late for preschool pickup because a shoot ran late, and muscling your way into a Mommy and Me class that you heard Fab Mom Exec attends.
I recently attended a publicity event for a parent-targeted product. The venue was crowded, the snacks for children were few, and adults were stepping over the children with that faraway “who else is here?” look in their eyes. I’ll admit that I was a bit starstruck myself as I rubbed pointy elbows with some celeb moms. The swag bag was great too, and the venue is a place I’d visit with my little boy on a less-crowded day. But as with everything post-childbirth, during that party I had 95 percent of what’s left of my brain focused on the well-being of my 1-year-old, and didn’t much care that the woman in front of me in the valet line was a star piling kids into her hybrid Suburban. I could have chatted her up and tucked a script into her diaper bag, but I was focused on keeping my baby from running into the street.
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