Today has been a misadventure in poop. Actually, it started last night, when Stew was angry with the dog for eating her poop for the hundredth time this week. Nothing makes Stewart madder than when the dog eats her own poop. She used to do it often when she first came to live with us, then she got better with occasional setbacks, and lately she’s been doing it all the time. Now we have to let her out only under our supervision to make sure she doesn’t do it. I mean, nobody wants a dog with poop-breath licking things in our house, namely the floor that my child crawls on or my child himself. Gross. We talked about it as we tried to fall asleep – me trying to come up with ways to cure Frida of this distasteful malady, and Stewart saying he wants to get rid of her. He doesn’t really want to get rid of her. But he really does want her to stop eating poop. Oddly, one way to break the dog of this habit is to put cayenne pepper on her poop, so that the poop will taste bad. But, as my friend remarked today, “How do get shit to taste worse than…shit?”
I say we tried to fall asleep because Kyle woke up every hour last night. I assumed it was teething, you know, because of the HUNDRED TEETH that are coming out of his upper gums. I got a peek at them yesterday. I thought there were four, which seem like a lot, but yesterday it looked like every tooth in his jaw is coming in now. It’s like when you assume the sky is nice and clear, but when you look behind you the sky is filled with those scary alien spaceships from War of the Worlds. But scarier, because it makes your child mad with pain and anguish.
So every time Kyle woke up last night, I went in to him and soothed him back down to sleep. Or I tried Baby Orajel, and finally Baby Tylenol which got him to sleep from 3:45 to 6:30. In the morning he was cranky again, and really tired. When Stewart changed his diaper, I heard him announce “POO!” from Kyle’s room. “Poo?!” I asked, incredulously, because Kyle NEVER poops during the night. And I will continue to insist on this truth, because I feel terrible that I didn’t even check his diaper last night. It wasn’t his teeth Kyle was crying about – it was the diaper full of POO! So this morning his little bum was bright red with a nasty bout of diaper rash.
And then came the diarrhea. It’s not terrible and disgusting, it’s just often. And every time I have to change Kyle’s diaper, I have to wipe his bum, which makes him scream and writhe around in pain. This afternoon, Kyle and I were exploring a new park near the Mitsubishi dealership while we waited for my car to be serviced. I had a stocked diaper bag and a blanket, so we settled near the jungle gym to have lunch and watch the other kids play. During his lunch, Kyle got really antsy and whiny and lo and behold: a full yucky diaper. I moved us to a less visible spot on the grass, changed him (complete with pained screaming), and got him settled down. Just as he was started to enjoy himself, POOP AGAIN. And guess what – the last diaper. (It was a well-stocked diaper bag for a regular 2 hour outing!) As Kyle squirmed and wriggled around, the last diaper BROKE. The velcro tab ripped right off in my hand. I had visions of wrapping him up in a burp cloth, using spoons as pins. But I got the diaper closed using the dismembered velcro tab, and hoped Kyle wouldn’t move around too much. A few minutes later, the dealership called: my car was done. Hooray.
Well, when we got home Kyle was asleep and stayed that way for an hour, so I had a little break. But after he woke up, during his bottle, I heard a small explosion in his pants. Repeat the routine, only now I’m using paper towels and warm water instead of wipes. I hope it eases the pain a little bit.
To celebrate the day I dressed Kyle in this outfit:
It says “Lil’ Pirate” on top. And here’s the rear view:
My cure for diaper rash: no wipes, only water and soft paper towel (which you are already doing) – every diaper change let him “air out” for a few minutes before putting a new diaper on, apply maalox to his bum (yes, the stuff you drink for your tummy) – let it dry for a minute or so, then apply desitin over top of this. If this doesn’t clear things up in a couple of days, add an anti-fungal cream three times a day (by itself, other diaper changes use above remedy). For the diarrhea, stick with breast milk, water, pedialyte – no cows milk, juice, or gatorade – and starchy foods (rice, bread, pasta, potatoes)… good luck!
I cannot wait until Kyle is a teenager and goes back and reads your old blog entries. What great blackmail material:
You’d better be home before curfew, or I’m going to give your girlfriend this web address and let her read all about your “poop deck”!
Oh Man, Sue and I just bought him this little outfit from St Thomas. too funny, LOL — hmmm, we will think of something.
Miss ya
Oh man I hope his bum is feeling better soon!
I love the writing on his bum! Too Cute!
Well I was feeling properly sympathetic towards you and Kyle but then his shirt just made me laugh out loud and all sympathy dissapated! No, no no, I do still feel bad–for both of you! Way to be MaGuyver on the diaper front! 🙂
That outfit is great! And I can see a change in his looks … he’s starting to look older and less babyish. Cute kid!
Everyone else is commenting on Kyle so I’ll sympathize with you about the dog. Our cat regularly poops on the carpet in the living room. I’ve threatened to get rid of him because I don’t want Luke to find it before I do, especially because everything goes right into the mouth. I swear he had poop-breath once but Alec insisted there wasn’t any (I think he quick throws it away and doesn’t tell me because he doesn’t want to get rid of the cat!). BLECH!
Ha ha, I’m laughing at the cute outfit!
I’m sorry to hear about Kyle’s poopie problems; but it is reassuring to hear about other infants going through the waking-every-hour thing. Frustrating, isn’t it?
We used to make a homemade ( or at least hospital made) diaper cream that went something like this-
mix maalox in aquaphor and balmex?? _ I think it was balmex- (who knows I’m not a pediatrician anymore), but the point is liquid maalox + aquaphor to butt with each diaper change. It will fix his little bum right up- guarenteed by his godmother.