A few minutes ago, I emerged from Kyle’s room sweaty and out of breath, determined to win the War of the Pacifier. You see, we were doing well at one point and Kyle was largely off the thing entirely, and then I don’t know what happened but it seems he is re-addicted. But in a different way than needing comfort for his sucking reflex. And now he can basically tell me that he wants it, and he can tell me how mad he is when I don’t give it to him.
Kyle does not exactly tell me, however. First he screams, then he cries and screams, then he wiggles and flails and pushes me and screams some more. Then he adamantly gestures towards the pacifier. If he is in his crib, he scrambles around looking for it among the piles of his friends Little Bunny and Little Bear and their friends.
Whew.
I am relishing the new 30-minute bedtime this war entails, in a way. It makes for more one-on-one time between us lately. I do miss our old daily routines when we spent all day together. Now Kyle and Daddy have their daily routines more than Kyle and Mommy do. Every day, Stewart picks Kyle up from daycare. When they get home, Daddy cuts up some fruit for Kyle and pours a Pepsi for himself. They head outside, where Kyle beelines for the hose, and Stewart turns it on for him. Then he waters the plants, himself, the dog, the grass, the ground, and his trucks, while Daddy reads the paper and decides not to discipline Kyle when he pulls plants out of the ground. Eventually they head inside and Kyle gets a dry diaper – nothing else – to run around in while Daddy starts cooking dinner.
Around 6:30, I come home. I have to quickly put down my bag and keys because I am instantly tackled by Frida and Kyle at the same time. Frida usually gets to me first, and Kyle’s face is right at Frida Tail Height now, so he is left behind shielding his eyes from the wagging madness. Once I greet the dog I am free to play whatever game Kyle has in mind. Usually it’s a 1-year-old’s version of Chase, or Hide and Seek. All played out with a wide-mouthed smile and a happy roar. We laugh and laugh, and then it’s time for dinner.
There’s usually bathing involved, and a nanosecond or two of sitting on the potty. There might be laundry to fold (and my helper unfolds it) or toys to clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere. In a good week, we go for a walk around the neighborhood on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Then…it’s…bedtime.
Stewart whines and tells me I should just give Kyle the pacifier and he’ll go to sleep. That might also save the neighbors’ ears, now that we keep Kyle’s windows open every night. But you know how I feel about the neighbors and their loud dogs which they never feel the need to silence, especially when I’m trying to sleep. Anyway, I don’t want to be weaning Kyle from the pacifier when he’s 3 and can talk back to me. Now he can only speak Armenian, and I don’t understand that so I don’t even know when he’s saying words.
Yes. He can speak Armenian. A few weeks ago he said the word for water (sounds like “joor”) and then today I learned that when the babysitter asks him, in Armenian, how old he is, he proudly holds 1 finger up!!!! It makes me so happy and sad at the same time. Shouldn’t he have learned that from me, and in English? I am the one who encouraged the babysitter to speak in her native language. Well, I got what I asked for. And I am glad for it, but still.
Kyle also understands “no,” but he thinks it means “get a little rascally grin on my face and do the thing she’s saying ‘no’ about.” Like pulling plugs out of the wall, for example. Or lifting the toilet lid. Or dropping food on the floor from his highchair for the dog to eat.
My baby is no longer a baby. He is a toddler. It’s hard for me to accept, but it’s impossible to ignore.
I believe we actually “lost” your pacifier when you were about 2. It was just gone and you got used to that.
Oh yeah. The age where the independence is exerted ALL. THE. TIME. Welcome!! 😉
I am fast approaching the toddlerhood stage you mention here. Girlie Girlie is 13 months old and hell on wheels alot of the time. But when she flashes that wrinkled nosed grin I melt…not completely but enough for me to remember that she’s only going to be little for a short time longer.
As for the pacifier issue. I am hoping we won’t have one. The binky as we call it never leaves her crib and if I ask her for it she will take it out of her mouth and plop it in my hand without fuss.
So I am thinking when it comes time to hit the age of 2 we should be binky free. Remind me please that I even typed that when I am posting my own binky problems in my ow blog.
Ahhh. The pacifier…
Preparing to press the “unsolicited advice” launch button.
We have found that weaning them from the pacifier when they are three is much easier than when they are one. Then you can talk about it and explain when they can have it, when they can;t, and why. Our dentist said that it won’t cause dental issues. And you have to pick your battles – and must win the ones you pick. MAYBE he would do better letting go of it a bit later when he is not trying so hard to assert his todlerish independence.
Hi! Just have to say I love the photo! Simply adorable.
My mom told Jackie her pacifier fell down the heating vent. So from the time Jackie was 2 until she was about 4 or 5, she kept looking at the heating vent like, “I can’t believe my nuk (we called it nuk (brand name) or nookie) is down there. I totally want it!”
She still remembers that we told her it fell down the vent.
Still… I really think the sooner you get rid of it, the better. For a few reasons – 1, who knows how much pacifiers contribute to a kid’s bite. The less repetitive sucking that goes on, the better chance the kid will have a straight smile. ‘Course, a lot of that is genetics. 2 – and I know I’m not a mom, and I’ll probably regret saying, but kids start to look wacky when they have a pacifier shoved in their mouth much beyond the age of 2. You’re being smart by breaking him of it while he still can’t reason with you.
ALSO – I wonder if the absence of a pacifier allows them to communicate more? I mean, for kids that keep the pacifier too long, I wonder if they get accustomed to talking with the pacifier in their mouth, if their speech is worse off when the pacifier is not in their mouth? Hmm…
I love the top photo of you with Kyle. It’s such a sweet moment.
For me, 15-18 months was absolutely the toughest age. Lots of walking, not much talking and zero listening.
Go, you!
In a few days you’ll be posting how hard these first few days were, but now he doesn’t even remember his pacifier and everything is great.
I look forward to learning how this all turns out because, of course, we must go through the same exercise…
I’m in the camp of OddMix on the pacifier thing (though I’m lucky my girl never took one – the few times I tried offered one when she was very little, in desperation, because she was so unhappy, she spit it out vehemently as if to say “WHAT in the HELL is that plastic thing you are putting in my mouth woman? And exactly HOW is the damn plastic thing supposed to make me feel better??!!”) … of course I’m STILL the human pacifier. Anyway… how fun that he is speaking ARMENIAN!
It’s bittersweet, isn’t it? I think that feeling, the nostalgic passing of childhood stages, is the essence of mommyhood. We want them to reach their milestones, but we ache when they do because it means another step away from us.
I hesitate to admit this…but my oldest didn’t finally give up her pacifier until her 4th birthday. We gradually started limiting when she could use it until it was only at bedtime. Then it broke the night of her party…she never looked back.
I can’t think of how it may have harmed her in any way. No speech or overbite problems. aT 14 she’s a happy, well adjusted kid.
Good luck with your decision. Who knew parenting was going to be hard?
In a little while you’ll look back on this moment with a sigh and a sentence that begins with remember when….I’m sure that doesn’t help you know, as you fight the Great Pacifier Battle, but there is hope out there for an end….
I love the game of Chase. Also, that seems to be the univeral toddler definition for “no”.
My Katie was standing up the other day and she comes all the way up my legs already. She’s only 10 months. Where is my baby going?!
Just to say that you’re not alone (although I am not yet fighting the binky war; I am not brave enough to take that on).