I have been humbled. When I read about Zoe’s poop party, I thought “sucks to be you, S@L!” and I was thankful that my kid doesn’t do such things. Well, karma can be a bitch.
Last Saturday I headed out to Trader Joe’s to get supplies for my little book club birthday party. Both kids were in their cribs. Kyle was not exactly asleep, since I had totally pushed the naptime envelope and he had fallen asleep in the car on the way home from visiting a friend. He doesn’t transfer well (must be a Y-chromosomal trait because Brady doesn’t either) so he woke up and never really settled down again. He was happily chattering away to himself in his room, though, so I thought it was a good time to escape.
I poked my head into the garage where Stewart was working and told him I was leaving, and since DSW isn’t on the way I was going to stop there, too. He said that was fine and told me to have fun.
Which I did, as you can see from my shoes in the photo below. At Trader Joe’s, Disney was running a big Desperate Housewives publicity event, which both awed and insulted me – what, you’re saying only desperate housewives shop at Trader Joe’s? It didn’t help that at that moment in time that is exactly what I was. Nevertheless, I accepted their gift of magnetized shopping list pads and went on my merry way.
I was gone for about two hours, but all it took was 15 minutes.
That’s how long Stewart enjoyed relative peace until all hell broke loose at the House of Poop.
When I got home, I walked in the door and found this: Brady screaming his head off, Stewart shouting into the phone, and Kyle writing on himself with a pen. I immediately shut the door and went back to the car to “get the groceries,” or perhaps drive to Vegas.
Once we all settled down, Stewart told me the story. About 15 minutes after I left, both kids started crying in their rooms. He got Brady up and put him in the bouncy seat. Then he went into Kyle’s room.
And found that Kyle had taken this opportunity to experiment with poop as his newest medium. It was all over him, his hands, his face, and the wall. To make matters worse, he had also peeled some of the fish appliques off the wall, the ones that I had lovingly applied last year.
Stewart was, of course, horrified and did his best to clean everything up before I got home, God love him. It was my birthday weekend, after all. By the time I arrived all of the poop evidence was gone but Stewart was still working on cleaning up the fish and he even thought he would try to replace them (we have a lot left over) but there wasn’t time for that.
I have to say that I was disappointed that Kyle had tried this experiment, but I was not surprised. We had a little talk with him and he learned “no poop on the fingers,” adding to the list of places where poop should not go, including the water and the sidewalk. Clearly he is not exhibiting any sort of consistency in pooping in the toilet (or “tow-let” as he calls it) and I am still not yet ready or energetic enough to commit to making this happen, which I know is probably scarring him for life or something, but you can see we have our hands full (literally!) in this house so again, I give up. For now.
Yeah, I’m sure he’ll be scarred for life because he’s not pooping in the potty. You hear about these people all of the time (can you hear the sarcasm?!?!)
I know this isn’t funny right now…..but holy cow how funny this will be as time goes by!!!
Thanks for the laugh. And the comraderie. Luke isn’t interested in the potty yet either. He practically cries every time I suggest he try it. I’m so tired of wiping poopy bottoms, but I don’t have the energy to really try to potty train. I need a vacation from everything else since we seem to be going somewhere all the time. Don’t they have a potty training boot camp somewhere for 2-year-olds that we could send them off to?
Ladies, ladies, ladies (KTP and Katie)! It takes forever to potty train your first. It will beat you down if you try too soon or before they show interest. Boys can be particularly slow. I hated potty training and although Gabe shows some interest (he’s got a big brother to copy after all), I’m in no hurry because of the memories. Bad memories.
I know this was totally gross and I’m sorry anyone had to clean up that mess…but you write so well I was giggling while reading the whole thing. So, even though it probably wasn’t the best way to “get there” thanks for the morning laugh.
Oh man, you lucked out though, what with your husband getting doody duty!
Fast forward 15 years, when Zoe & Kyle discover our blogs…
Zoe: OMG! Seriously! I can’t believe they said that about us on their stupid blogs! We could totally sue them, you know?
Kyle: I know! And how about the fact that they LIED because I SO never did that.
Zoe: I know. Me either. Sooo nasty. Whatever.
Kyle: I know. Totally uncool. Whatever.
Zoe: They’re stupid. Let’s finish our physics homework.
Kyle: No way! You promised we could do Caculus first tonight!
I’m so sorry but I’m laughing so hard right now! Gotta love Stewart though!
Where’s the picture of the shoes?
lots of poop painters here as well!
All I will say it is nasty and how to get them to stop is a nightmare.
hopefully this is a one time event!