It’s Like "Sex and the City" Three Years Later

No, I’m not talking about “Cashmere Mafia.” I’m talking about real life, people. Not some quartet of stereotypical smooth-haired alpha females.

Like Carrie Bradshaw and the shoes, I have too many diaper bags. But unlike Carrie and the shoes, I didn’t spend too much money on them and I need them. Really. I do. Stop looking at me like that.

There’s the two-kid bag, the one-kid bag, the emergency bag, which I use. Then there’s the closet full of empty, unused bags that I have because I might need them someday. Those will soon be Freecycled because of my aversion to clutter.

The two-kid bag, now that there are two almost full-sized kids and not just one kid and a baby, is starting to get overloaded when I do in fact go out with both kids. Diapers for both, snacks for both, extra clothes for both and yeesh – when does a baby get to start carrying a backpack? Inevitably I leave something essential out of the bag and the truth comes out every week at Monday Playdate when I have to mooch a diaper or a shirt from the hosting mom. I think the other moms all discreetly roll their eyes when we come in, wondering what it’s gonna be this time.

The one-kid bag is admittedly my guilty pleasure purchase. Last summer I wanted, coveted, needed this bag that I invented in my mind and found that it already existed! So I bought it! On Ebay! For 30% of its retail price! I actually Googled “black quilted microfiber backpack diaper bag.” Go ahead, test it. That’s what comes up! I love Google. (See, Google? I love you. Now send people here so that I cash in on my popularity and turn this blog into a book.)

The emergency bag is one of those Enfamil or Similac freebies that I stuff with thing we might need in an emergency and stick in my trunk and forget about until there’s an emergency. Emergencies come in all shapes and sizes. There are grocery emergencies, such as the Great Pork Emergency of Christmas 2007 which made me brave the crowds at Costco on the evening of December 23rd. Believe me – nothing short of an emergency would make me do something like that.

Then there’s the kind of emergency you hope never happens to you: going out of the house with your diapered children without a diaper bag, or, less severely, with a diaper bag that is missing something essential. And you’re not going to another parent’s home. Thus, you find yourself marooned in a sea of childless people who think wrapping a child in toilet paper will do the trick. And Saran Wrap! That will prevent leaks!

That’s when the emergency diaper bag, which I had forgotten about but suddenly glows in the trunk like the Ark of the Covenant, complete with singing angels, comes in handy.

I know you’re reading this thinking “I should have an emergency diaper bag!” Kids or not, yeah, you should.