Thank You, Terror

I’ve tried to be more thankful lately, even taking a few minutes out of my day to actually say, out loud, “thank you” for the things and people in my life that make it as good as it is.

Most days, I forget to do this. But on days that require me to drive a good distance, I remember, and I turn off the radio for a few minutes of silence and I say little prayers of thanks. It’s different than singing my heart out and getting caught by another driver. Haven’t you ever done that? “Hungry Like the Wolf” comes on and you haven’t heard it in ages so you’re “Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo”-ing like never before and you’re stopped at a traffic light and when you come to your senses you see the Mexican guy in a giant truck totally laughing at you. What? That’s never happened to me, either.

It’s actually more embarrassing to be caught praying out loud, but only because I feel more self-conscious doing that than performing Car Karaoke. The latter just comes more naturally. I remember a few years ago I was doing a shoot at someone’s apartment and we broke for lunch. The woman was Mormon and when she and her husband sat down with me and the crew to eat they first joined hands, lowered their eyes, and said grace before they chowed down on pepperoni Papa John’s. I was so taken aback, I was rendered speechless, which I guess passed for respectful silence. I was five months pregnant at the time, so any blushing in my cheeks could be mistaken for hot flashes.

Nothing brings home my reasons for thanking God more than the latest world tragedies. The earthquake in China. The tornados in the American Midwest. Wildfires in Florida. A cyclone in Myanmar. So many people killed, especially children. The story that stayed with me today was the family in China that surrounded a dead 10-year-old after he was pulled from a collapsed school building, touching him and trying to unclench his stiff hands. I would be destroyed if I lost a child. Destroyed. And it’s not even an experience that is far away as China. A very good friend of mine lost her 14-year-old niece to epilepsy two years ago this month. The girl’s mother has another child, and so must fight to stay alive for him. I can’t imagine her pain, but I have seen her survival, and I admire it.

And so I thank God and creation for my healthy children who are with me another day, day after day. I ask for forgiveness for losing my temper. I pledge to set a good example, and have the strength to keep it together, to find the joy in this season of my life, despite the dangers of the world around us.