The Blogger Method
I think I’m going to write a book called “Your Book Doesn’t Work.” I have a huge stack of baby books now, because every time Kyle changes his mind about how it’s gonna go down, I buy a new book about it, and study it religiously, and follow all the rules. The new method works for a while, but then the kid catches on and refuses to submit. At least he’s clever that way.
Yesterday I broke down and called Stewart, who was trying to concentrate at work and therefore further his efforts to make us rich so I won’t have to work ever again. I have taken on a freelance post production gig and I was trying to concentrate, myself. It was Kyle’s naptime, or least my idea of what his naptime should be, and he was in his room which is adjacent to my office. It was about an hour after I put him in his crib, and he was STILL wailing at the top of his lungs, with his entire hand in his mouth. That’s an impressive trick. It was 80 hundred degrees here in the Valley, and since the sun beats down on this side of the house all day, it was pretty hot in here even though the air conditioner was on, and I was cranky.
Like I said, I was trying to concentrate. I was trying to THINK, to BE CLEVER, and TO WRITE. But it seems the only thing I can write cleverly about (at least I think so) is Kyle and his wailing. But anyway…
I just couldn’t do it. I was so distracted by Kyle’s crying – not just the sound, but the idea of it – the fact that we’ve been doing Ferber’s progressive timing since Monday and still the kid will not nap. Nighttime is fine, but naps are torture. So I started to cry, too, and I called Stew and bawled my eyes out and whined to him. I felt bad doing that, but I just needed to get it off my chest so I could continue and get something done. Basically I was complaining to him that I wanted to concentrate on my work but Kyle was getting in my way.
Stewart was sympathetic, and it’s funny, because he said “well, I’ll come home and relieve you at 8.” Which is funny because THAT’S KYLE’S BEDTIME. Easy for him to relieve me when Kyle is actually sleeping, huh?
Nonetheless, I felt bolstered by our phone call so I picked Kyle up out of his crib and put him in his bouncy seat in front of…
…OH THE HORROR…
…the television.
Stewart and I swore that Kyle would not be a TV kid. I promised I would not just plop him down in front of the TV to shut him up. But these were desperate times, people. He sat still and happy for 20 minutes watching Baby Monet and talking to the maniacal zebra puppets. Kyle is only 3 months old and I have now doomed him to a life of short attention spans and nervous tics. But at least I got some work done.
And then Stewart came home and I told him how guilty I felt while I was working and not paying attention to my poor child who was abandoned in front of the tv. Little did I know that I had just exhibited the classic working mother’s struggle – and it was only my second day of a job that I can do in my own house! The ideal situation! And the company I’m working for is making it VERY attractive to do such projects – the home work arrangement, flexibility for when I do have to go to the office, etc.
But when it all works well, I feel really good about it. I’m using my mind and hopefully greasing the rusty gears of my creativity. I’m making money, and I’m still spending my days with Kyle. I hope I can have the patience to work through this nap thing. Of course, because I’m totally complaining about it right now, he is actually asleep. Is Blogger magic? If I write it, he will sleep?
18 Comments
Lisa
“Your Book Doesn’t Work” – LOL!!!!! I SO hear you there!!! The problem, as I say to countless mother, is that babies do not themselves read these books and therefore know how they ought to be doing things!!! My girl loves Baby Einstein – at least you are not sitting him down in front of Jerry Springer… it could be worse!!! AND for bad mama thing I never thought I’d do in order to keep my baby happy for 10 minutes and have a few minutes mama peace : take the cord off the phone and let her have the handset. And when my husband walks in and asks “Why is part of the phone on the living room floor?” I look at him like this is a crazy question, as it seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to me!!!
Lisa
“Your Book Doesn’t Work” – LOL!!!!! I SO hear you there!!! The problem, as I say to countless mother, is that babies do not themselves read these books and therefore know how they ought to be doing things!!! My girl loves Baby Einstein – at least you are not sitting him down in front of Jerry Springer… it could be worse!!! AND for bad mama thing I never thought I’d do in order to keep my baby happy for 10 minutes and have a few minutes mama peace : take the cord off the phone and let her have the handset. And when my husband walks in and asks “Why is part of the phone on the living room floor?” I look at him like this is a crazy question, as it seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to me!!!
Lisa
“Your Book Doesn’t Work” – LOL!!!!! I SO hear you there!!! The problem, as I say to countless mother, is that babies do not themselves read these books and therefore know how they ought to be doing things!!! My girl loves Baby Einstein – at least you are not sitting him down in front of Jerry Springer… it could be worse!!! AND for bad mama thing I never thought I’d do in order to keep my baby happy for 10 minutes and have a few minutes mama peace : take the cord off the phone and let her have the handset. And when my husband walks in and asks “Why is part of the phone on the living room floor?” I look at him like this is a crazy question, as it seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to me!!!
Anne
Very funny post! 🙂
Nothing wrong with a little Baby Monet to allow you to get some work done. I think our society has lost sight of “everything in moderation” and as a result we’re all scared shitless of drinking while pregnant and allowing our kids to watch television, et al. There are too many stupid people fugging it up for the rest of us and, as a result, professional advice is aimed at the lowest common denominator.
How do you feel about ignoring the books? Or are you not comfortable with that?
Anne
Very funny post! 🙂
Nothing wrong with a little Baby Monet to allow you to get some work done. I think our society has lost sight of “everything in moderation” and as a result we’re all scared shitless of drinking while pregnant and allowing our kids to watch television, et al. There are too many stupid people fugging it up for the rest of us and, as a result, professional advice is aimed at the lowest common denominator.
How do you feel about ignoring the books? Or are you not comfortable with that?
Anne
Very funny post! 🙂
Nothing wrong with a little Baby Monet to allow you to get some work done. I think our society has lost sight of “everything in moderation” and as a result we’re all scared shitless of drinking while pregnant and allowing our kids to watch television, et al. There are too many stupid people fugging it up for the rest of us and, as a result, professional advice is aimed at the lowest common denominator.
How do you feel about ignoring the books? Or are you not comfortable with that?
KTP
Thanks for the props, ladies. In response to this, my mom emailed me an article about the dangers of television and how the Academy of Pediatrics says NO TV BEFORE AGE 2 etc. Anyway…I love my internet friends.
KTP
Thanks for the props, ladies. In response to this, my mom emailed me an article about the dangers of television and how the Academy of Pediatrics says NO TV BEFORE AGE 2 etc. Anyway…I love my internet friends.
KTP
Thanks for the props, ladies. In response to this, my mom emailed me an article about the dangers of television and how the Academy of Pediatrics says NO TV BEFORE AGE 2 etc. Anyway…I love my internet friends.
Anne
Okay, you and your mom BOTH need to stop reading! 🙂
Anne
Okay, you and your mom BOTH need to stop reading! 🙂
Anne
Okay, you and your mom BOTH need to stop reading! 🙂
Tina
Working at home with a new baby must be challenging! Juliette has been through the Baby Einstein phase… then it was Elmo; then it was Barney; now it is Dora the Explorer, Maisy, and Caillou (have you discovered the Noggin channel yet?). A little bit of harmless TV a day isn’t going to doom Kyle to anything, especially if it saves mom’s sanity! As Anne said above, everything in moderation. That includes the baby books!
Tina
Working at home with a new baby must be challenging! Juliette has been through the Baby Einstein phase… then it was Elmo; then it was Barney; now it is Dora the Explorer, Maisy, and Caillou (have you discovered the Noggin channel yet?). A little bit of harmless TV a day isn’t going to doom Kyle to anything, especially if it saves mom’s sanity! As Anne said above, everything in moderation. That includes the baby books!
Tina
Working at home with a new baby must be challenging! Juliette has been through the Baby Einstein phase… then it was Elmo; then it was Barney; now it is Dora the Explorer, Maisy, and Caillou (have you discovered the Noggin channel yet?). A little bit of harmless TV a day isn’t going to doom Kyle to anything, especially if it saves mom’s sanity! As Anne said above, everything in moderation. That includes the baby books!
Lisa
Yea, Yea… I’m a pediatric nurse and know all about the AAP recommendation… but I agree with the others, in moderation and good choices… 30 minutes of Baby Einstein seems okay to me… 5 hours of Jerry Springer and soap operas, not such a great choice!!
Lisa
Yea, Yea… I’m a pediatric nurse and know all about the AAP recommendation… but I agree with the others, in moderation and good choices… 30 minutes of Baby Einstein seems okay to me… 5 hours of Jerry Springer and soap operas, not such a great choice!!
Lisa
Yea, Yea… I’m a pediatric nurse and know all about the AAP recommendation… but I agree with the others, in moderation and good choices… 30 minutes of Baby Einstein seems okay to me… 5 hours of Jerry Springer and soap operas, not such a great choice!!