When I started this website I meant for it to tell tales about my pregnancy. Now I’m in what’s considered the fourth trimester – for Kyle, that means his little brain and motor skills are still developing. For me, it means my body is putting itself back together.
The physical trauma of giving birth has left my groinal area ravaged, of course. It didn’t hurt so much at the time, but it hurts like hell now. After some confusion and pain and thinking I might have an infection, my doctor basically told me I’m just healing, and that’s why it hurts so bad. Give it time. Huh. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not very patient. This is something I am learning. Patience with my body, with my baby, with my husband, with pretty much everything. (Except our gardener, whom we fired last week. Yay!)
My boobs, which have never been much to brag about, have reached unprecedented size. Pretty bodacious, I might say. Stewart wants to take a picture of them, just for us. I haven’t let him do this yet. But with the pleasure comes the pain. They friggin’ hurt, man. They hurt before I nurse, they hurt while I nurse, and they hurt after I nurse. I could go on about this for a long time, in great detail, but I think I hear Kyle wanting to nurse again.
My fatigue level, expectedly, is pretty high. I am kind of brain dead, which is probably why this post is not very entertaining, witty, or informative. The fatigue also adds to my emotional rollercoaster. I have a weepy time of day every day. It’s so much to handle.
Well, here comes the Revenge of the Angry Sucking Baby. Later.
Oh, let Stewart take the picture 🙂 So glad you fired the gardner. You sure don’t need that stress any longer. You have been patient with him too!
All our best!
You are right… it is the “Fourth Trimester”… I am also not a patient person. But, be patient with yourself and the many beautiful changes in your life. As a wise woman I know often says “It takes 9 months to grow that baby, it will take at least 9 months for your body to return to normal” (I think longer). Just concentrate on that beautiful boy and the rest will follow.
It WILL get better. Your brain will start working again, your boobs will stop hurting so much, your body will heal and you’ll stop being an emotional cocktail. Fatigue adds and prolongs everything. Give yourself a few months and you will most likely find yourself looking empathetically at women with newborns. You, Stewart and Kyle will find your groove.
I had my second child 4 months ago and I still have days where I wonder if I’m drowning. But that’s actually an improvement. Two months ago I was completely overwhelmed by my new life and was POSITIVE I was drowning. Now I just wonder, “Am I?”
Above all, keep your sense of humor about this, even when you’re a puddle of tears on the floor – be able to step outside yourself and laugh at your hormones when it’s over. It helps.