It’s time for me to write about something that has come up for me in the last few days. A nagging dread that lurks under the surface of my conscience, but something I knew I needed to think out and face and write about here, because it’s so much a part of my parenting experience. Part of the less pleasant side about the first six months of raising a child, it’s right around the corner.
The lack of freedom.
Specifically, the idea that I have gotten used to informing Stewart that I have X plan for the weekend “so you need to hang out with Kyle while I go do that.” He’s been wonderful about letting me go off and do what I want to do with my friends or getting errands done or treatments or whatever. And he’s stopped referring to his time with Kyle as “babysitting.” (Nice, right? We worked on that one for a while.)
But a few things have come up recently that are plans for the “future,” as in, after the Peanut is born. I automatically accept invitations before I remember that there will be more than just Kyle to deal with at home, and I know for a fact that Stewart is not down with hanging out at home with our 2-year-old tornado and a newborn. Plus, there’s the breastfeeding/pumping hassle. It finally dawned on me that going to a party or a gathering without my infant may be more difficult than just telling Stewart on Thursday or Friday what I need him to cover over the weekend.
Rats. I really have gotten used to the freedom that Kyle’s “maturity” has brought me. Stewart loves to take Kyle to the park or hang out with him in the backyard or bring him to his buddy’s house to work on motorcycles (totally different story). Kyle is a lot easier to take care of than he used to be. But here we are right around the corner from the days in which Stewart would have to drink an entire bottle of red wine just to get through an evening alone with the baby. Cocktail playdate, anyone?
On the other hand, I’m a lot more comfortable with the idea of leaving Kyle or even both kids with a sitter (i.e. the Daycare Lady) whom I trust. I didn’t have that cushion last time. While I will mourn my newfound freedom, I think it will be easier to adjust to the loss of it and/or strap my newborn on my body with my fabulous new sling and just get on with life.
Completely aside: anybody watch the baby shows on TLC? I’ve been Tivo-ing them for a while and reconnecting with A Baby Story in preparation for delivery. Suddenly it’s called The Baby Block of programming and there is a host. Do we need this? I think not. How annoying.
Hmmm. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Auntie Lisa is a blogger. And It’s Katie Everybody! You could all go together and pass the Peanut around. I would hate for you to miss the LA Blogger Party!!!
I think that the most important thing is to not try to hide how you are feeling. The first step to solving a problem/ dilemna/ concern/whatever, even if it seems unsolvable is to figure out what the situation is. Then your mom is right- where there is a will there is a way and you have friends and yes, you will have less mobility, but you are a mommy pro this time, not a rookie
And I think Stewart should come to the party, too!
Could not have lived without my sling when my girl was little. Was addicted to Baby Story on TLC during the last weeks of my pregnancy (aren’t all pregnant women???) The loss of freedom… that is a tough one. Time will cure it. And when it does you will miss having your baby so little. Try to remember that during the worst of it. And we’ll all send you support through the internet.
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