Lately I have been screwing up in so many areas it’s not funny. I am totally chalking it up to Mommy Brain. I think I’ll just keep getting pregnant so that I can continue using that excuse.
1. Driving
About four weeks before Brady was born, I got a ticket for turning right on red. In Los Angeles, where you can turn right on red everywhere, except for about four places where it is prohibited. I thought the cop would give me a break since I was so pregnant. I didn’t even cry. But no, he just made sure that I didn’t see the sign and therefore I wasn’t flagrantly disobeying the law. After he left, I drove back around the block to make sure there really was a sign, or to see if it was obscured by overgrown vegetation or something.
There were about forty giant signs. My bad.
I had to pay $150 for the ticket and attend traffic school, which I did online and I just graduated about 10 minutes ago. Congratulations to me! Nobody gave me a present or threw me a party, but I learned valuable things like “backing up is always dangerous” and “a pedestrian is a person on foot or a skateboard.”
2. Changing diapers
At Brady’s 4 week pediatrician appointment I was told the doctor was “coming right in.” So after the nurse weighed him, sans diaper, I put him in my lap to breastfeed with a new diaper, loosely fastened. Very loosely, because duh, the doctor was coming right in. So she came in and we chatted about Brady and then she totally spilled the beans about the 2 year old in the room next door who was barfing all over the place. She told me how he was at lunch with his mother, grandmother, and the grandmother’s friend, who slipped him a peanut M&M because she didn’t know he is allergic to peanuts. He had an anaphylactic reaction and so was rushed to the office for shots. This made me reconsider Kyle’s mild allergy and eventually call the allergist and now we’re going back there on July 9.
Anyway, so I totally forgot about the loosely fastened diaper. Until Brady shat all over my lap.
Bright yellow baby poo all over the crotch of my black pants. Excellent. Note to self: fasten the diaper every time.
3. Generally having my shit together
In the last two weeks, I have lost my cell phone earpiece, my brand new sports watch, my coupon organizer, and my favorite hair-drying towel. It was one of those special Aquis towels that really get your hair dry. Where would a towel go? Where?!?!
Maybe the towel ran off with some socks. They’re always causing trouble.
I remember having my hand on that towel, but I don’t remember if it was in the bathroom or the closet….
Hang in there. I feel your pain. My mommy brain lasted over a year. I finally went to the doc after I treated a stop light as a stop sign – not good at 5 PM in downtown – to see if I had a hormone imbalance.
After a battery of tests, the nurse called and said that on paper I was a picture of perfect health, but the doc thought I was completely overwhelmed, and did I want her to make me an appointment with a therapist?
I did not take her up on the offer, but hired a cleaning lady, a lawn cutter, quit my volunteer position as President of the tennis association.
See what you can cut back on and delegate, if possible. And don’t worry about the clutter if you can.
Love,
Suz
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When Ronen was 3 days old, we took him to the pediatrician for the checkup he would have had in the hospital had we stayed in the hospital more than 7 hours after his birth.
The first thing the nurse said when she walked into the exam room was “take off his clothes and diaper so I can weigh him”. As brand new first time parents, we do as we’re told. Then she walks out and says that the doctor will be right in.
By the time the doctor was right in, Ronen had peed all over his mom and his swaddling blanket. We didn’t think to bring another blanket, of course. Good thing there was a Gymboree just a few blocks away.
Nurses should be more specific with new parents, is what I’m saying. 😉
I think Elby steals my shit. Including towels. I for a fact found my cell phone blue tooth ear piece in a bucket in her room with her sand toys. What’s that all about?
The nurse in me read that and thought… rushed him to the office??? as opposed to: (1) having an epi-pen with them (2) calling 911 (3) rushing him to the ER.
Totally believe in Mommy brain. You are also sleep-deprived which does not help.