Yesterday we took Kyle to Toys R Us to get a tricycle for his 2nd birthday. As we walked from the car through the parking lot, Stewart held one of Kyle’s hands and I held the other. Kyle counted to three over and over again. Every time he said “Free!” we swung him in the air. I thought about what we looked like: Daddy, toddler, Mommy, and giant fetus under her shirt. The perfect little young family.
I’ve been feeling wistful about the end of our little threesome: Mommy, Daddy, Kyle. The three of us have such a great relationship that it is hard to imagine a fourth person fitting into that. I know it’s a typical emotional milestone. I know that it will all work out. But it’s what I’m going through right now and if I’ve learned anything about emotions, it’s that it’s best to let yourself experience them.
Kyle loves to look at the pictures we have stored on the computer. Last night we brought up the 3D ultrasound shots of “baby brother” and I started to get teary eyed. We are going to have a whole new person to get used to, the way we had to get used to Kyle. And we’re SO used to Kyle, who has no idea what’s in store for him. I don’t remember when my baby brother was born, but if I did I might be better prepared to help Kyle go through this transition.
For most of the pregnancy I have talked to Kyle about his baby brother, and encouraged him to touch and kiss and talk to my belly. Lately he has been putting his ear up against it, as if listening to secrets that the baby is whispering to him. I’ve read him “I’m a Big Brother!” about 40 million times, and explained to him that babies cry and drink milk from mommy’s boobies, and wake up in the middle of the night. I know he doesn’t get it, but I am hoping that among all of this explanation, something will stick and he’ll remember it when needed.
My mommy friends threw me a little shower over the weekend, and their gift to me (besides neverending support and empathy) was a double stroller. I showed Kyle and told him that we’ll go for rides in it with baby brother. The only thing Kyle was interested in, though, was the leftover cake. He sang “Happy Birthday” to himself as he ate it.
Kimmy –
What a sweet post! I am sure you will all do fine, and I bet Kyle gets more than you think, based on what Jacks seems to internalize and then pop out with days later.
Thanks for the “letter”. He loved it, and giggled and giggled. I don’t have your email, so please send me one, so I have it again.
Poor little Kyle. He probably has NO IDEA how much his world is about to change. But, he’ll figure it out eventually I’m sure
Kyle will survive and in a couple of years you’ll wonder how your life would not be complete without your two boys.
Yeah, we’re starting to have to deal with the new intrusion into our lives. Already. L.A Toddler has been acting up with us over the last two weeks. Her teachers at daycare have noticed it too. She’s misbehaving, saying, “No!” a lot, and sticking out her tongue.
We finally started to realize that she knows something is wrong, something is changing, and Mommy isn’t quite the same. And she’s really testing us.
We’ll see but I think she’s finally over it.