Last year someone gave me Indigo Girls’ new Christmas album. I played it on my computer while I was wrapping presents. This song came on, and that was the end of that. I had never heard it before. It’s a cover of an old Melissa Manchester tune.
I brought my tree down to the shore
The garland and the silver star
To find my peace and grieve no more
To heal this place inside my heart
I still can’t listen to it without physically transforming into a pile of tears. I couldn’t even get through the first verse of this version. Just reading the lyrics kills me. Forgive me for not watching the whole video before I posted it here. I just…couldn’t.
I keep hoping that something will fill my heart. I do this self-torture series of sad songs because it helps me feel my feelings. The music reaches a place inside me that is so raw and vulnerable and makes my emotions rise to the surface. I feel a passion that makes me want to share it with you. So, to those of you, like my mother, who wonder why I do this to myself – that’s why. When I start posting happy songs instead, we’ll all know that I’m on my way to healing.