Well, eight years plus one month. That is how long Stewart and I have been married.
It seems impossible that eight whole years have gone by since that one day fraught with stress (8,573 things to do) and triumph (we pulled off the party of a lifetime). And since then there’s been a major expansion of all of that stress and triumph. Stretch it all out into 8 years’ worth and here we have the beginning of a life spent together.
As I wrote last year and the year before, marriages continue to fall apart all around us, some more shockingly than others. It sobers us. We know we are not immune. Our own marriage is not perfect. After the year we’ve had, we certainly are more aware of that fact than ever.
In fact, Year Seven was the hardest year so far. It was the year in which we took a very serious look at our relationship and really digested the fact that our family’s well-being rests on it. I think I can speak for Stewart in saying that we began to understand how heavy and how important our marriage is, and how much we value being married to each other.
Perhaps someday I will expand, but for now let it suffice to say that we worked on our marriage with open hearts and determination. We read self-help books. I started reading a blog about marriage that I will probably read as long as it’s around because it’s so good. I started listening to Dr. Laura (who is crazy, crazy, crazy but is entertaining and dare I say sometimes she makes a lot of sense). No, Stewart doesn’t read that blog or listen to that radio show, but he has to listen to my versions of them!
From all this discussion and reflection, we came up with a daily ritual in which we check in with each other – not just about the kids or what happened that day or what chores to expect the next, but to connect the way we need to in order to stay on solid
ground. Every night at 9:30 my iPhone chimes and says “Call Stew,” reminding me to check in with him even when I’m not at home.
Like anything else in life, it’s not perfect, but it’s ours. And with 1/12 of Year Eight behind us already, our marriage seems to be out of the danger zone for now, but as I do every year, I promise again not to take it for granted.
Love you all!
Mawwiage. That bwessed awwangement. Tweasure your wuv.
Aww, that’s sweet — and the wedding pic of you two of gorgeous!
Very honest look at marriage. Jeff and I are going on ???? 14 years this august. Wow what a ride it’s been. It’s a commitment.
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary you two.
What a really sweet post. I may even get off the computer and go hug my husband. Seriously, marriage is hard.
“Our families well-being rests upon it” … I so totally feel the same way… once you have kids it’s no longer about just you or the two of you, but about what those decisions would do to innocent little ones who love mom & dad so much and for whom you want to provide a stable loving home and family together… that somber knowledge can keep you working and going through things that might otherwise cause you to give up and walk out. Happy Anniversary and many more!
Congratulations on 8 years. I love this post and the fact that you’re so honest about the work and time that really DOES go into a relationship and a marriage. I wish you both many more years of happiness.
Also, I am in love with the dress you’re wearing at your anniversary dinner.