Bourgeois Problems

I have grumbled and moaned about our gardener on this blog before. He’s the one who comes when he damn well pleases, while all of our neighbors have regular, punctual gardeners. OUR gardener, however, shows up 50 percent of the time, leaving our yard all scraggly and making me unreasonably angry. In February, he came 1 out of 4 weekends. In March, he came 3 out of 4, rendering February effectively blank of his presence. So I didn’t pay him. On Saturday, he had the nerve to knock on the door…while I was sprawled out on the couch like a beach whale watching the original “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”…and ask me if he was going to get paid. I told him to wait until the end of the month (which I consider to be next week) and I would pay him, and that I didn’t pay him in February because he never came. He proceeded to tell me, in great detail, WHY he didn’t come (it was raining, his kids had to go to their mother’s house, the sun sets too early, he couldn’t drive all the way back to his town to get his equipment, blah blah blah) but I cut him off because I AM HUGELY PREGNANT AND MY ANKLES WERE SWELLING AS WE STOOD THERE IN THE DOORWAY. Do I need to deal with such things right now? I am so suburban. At least I’m not a Mom at Sixteen.