Calm Before the Storm

I was just trying to describe how I feel in an email to LD. I wonder if it worked. I told her that I feel like a snowball that rolled downhill gathering more and more snow until it got so big it slowed down…a lot. The bigger it got, the more it slowed down. That’s how I feel. I have small bursts of activity followed by a nap. I can barely summon enough energy to pick up the phone and make calls. The only thing I am interested in doing right now is surfing other blogs and reading how miserable other women were before they gave birth.

I should correct that. I actually don’t feel miserable. But I do feel kind of stinky. I mean, you know me. I do a lot of stuff. Even though I haven’t had a job in 2 months, I’ve kept myself really busy. I have a to-do list on my computer desktop, and I consult it regularly. That is the only way I was able to accomplish an almost complete remodel of the south wing of our house. (Doesn’t that sound fancy? Relax – it’s just three bedrooms and a hallway, and I skipped the 2 bathrooms, because Stewart said he’ll do them.)

So now that I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to watch Oprah – wait, I’ve been falling asleep on Oprah lately so that is a lie, even – I feel this lingering guilt. Confessions of a type-A dropout or something. On the other hand, I LOVE naps, so they make me feel so much better, and I am eternally grateful to my husband that I am allowed this time to simply stay at home and grow a big, healthy baby. Just by sitting here, I am doing something, letting a life grow inside me.

Now he is plenty big. SO COME OUT, ALREADY!!!!