I’ve discovered the secret to clear writing: just find the nugget of truth in what I am feeling, and write that. It doesn’t have to be profound or flowery. It can be as simple as
I love you
or
I’d like to schedule a meeting and I am free at the following times
or
Thank you for taking such great care of us
I have written 1,000 letters in my lifetime, perhaps more. I have stuffed those letters full of words, when I could have saved a lot of effort for myself and the addressee if I had just written what I meant.
I miss you
I have agonized over business proposals and the proper language to use when addressing potential employers or clients or donors. There is so much baggage out in the word-universe, so much protocol that has come before us. In this time of too much information, I have found that simple is better. It feels more right to me somehow, and sometimes it actually works.
I am raising money for a charity, and I need you to donate an iPad for me to give away as a prize
I propose myself for this job because of this and this and this and I suggest the following rate of compensation…
When writing my stories, I find it best to bring myself back to a moment and tell you what it was like – how I felt, what I saw, what I heard, smelled, and did. That’s when the words come out without caring how many they are, and that is also when I stand aside and let them come. Afterward, I may go back and cut out a few or many of them, but letting them come at first without stopping them at least helps me discover what was in my heart – what I really wanted to tell you.
I was overwhelmed
This is very difficult
Somebody help me
It should not have been a shock, then, to find that this simplicity of communication also works when I am talking to a person in real life. It is not as easy as sending a text or an email. There are so many non-verbal signals happening during a face-to-face conversation. I can stand up and walk around or fold some clothes or stomp to the bathroom for a tissue. I can make a face that indicates sarcasm or I can pantomime a funny story or I can dissolve into tears.
It is easier to speak my heart’s truth to strangers. There are no layers of years between us – we just met. I can throw my arm around you at a party and confide in you without reservation. I can look at a camera and divulge an intimate secret. I can form a quick bond with someone whose eyes are like mine – full of twinkle, and quick to fill with tears.
But live with me everyday and you get mostly this:
It’s time to go please get ready
I need a few minutes to get some work done
How can we be out of hot dog rolls again?
Meanwhile, the important things are there underneath the everyday, but so desperate to be said. So I am learning how to talk from my writing now, just as my writing is inspired by the people and conversations I have out loud. I am a long way from the torrent of my memory-words, but becoming quiet and letting the truth surface and saying it out loud is a gut-wrenching, terrifying, and absolutely liberating first step.
Listen
I want you to hear me
I want to trust you with my heart


Love this. Well said. 🙂
Are you in therapy?
Nope.
I love this post KIm. So true and well said!
That is one of the most beautiful things I’ve read in a long time… and… therapy once saved my life. Literally.
I find it easier to open up and talk to strangers too, cause there’s nothing to lose and everything to gain.
That was really beautiful Kim. You made me cry. You wrote that so well and you can see what is in your heart. 🙂 You are such a great friend, wife and mother! I love you.
See, this is why Klout says you’re one of my influencers.
Aw, man. You guys…