If you have this blog in a reader, you’re probably thinking “Whew, thank goodness she’s taking a rest because I can’t keep up with her flowers and cuteness.” If you come here to visit and see what’s new, there hasn’t been much new for days besides my overt plagiarism of a blogger I admire.
The thing is, this full-time-work-outside-the-home-mom thing is kicking ass and taking names. Let me be clear about this: I am not complaining, exactly, because I am grateful to have the job and I really like it. What I am realizing is that there are only so many hours in a day and days in the week, and much like budgeting your money, you have to budget your time. There are X amount of work hours, X amount of family time hours, X amount of sleep hours and then whatever is left over gets filled with all the other bullshit it takes to keep a household afloat.
Somewhere in there you make time for yourself, but contrary to that venerable advice to “pay yourself first” there is no chance to do that with time. Two children under 5 demand that time first, and that’s all there is to it. As such, I am not able to keep up with this, my beloved personal blog, my hobby, for that is what it truly is. I force myself to keep up with the blogs that pay me (with money or GIRL POWER!) because I really enjoy that work. Sometimes red wine helps me chug through the fatigue. I know, that seems contradictory, but try it! It helps!
In the past few weeks during moments when I have started to feel overwhelmed, I have found myself mentally running through a checklist of priorities that goes something like this:
Are the children safe and healthy? Check.
What do I have to do next? Okay, prepare for that.
Crap, I missed that bill/deadline/phone call. Is it the end of the world? No.
When do I get to sleep again? That is not that far away. You can do this.
And once I get to snuggle up in bed with a good book and some blissful slumber in the immediate future, I start to feel better. Also, crying to my mommy on the phone works. Thank God and all that is holy that I can still do that.
Sorry to hear that! I have enjoyed reading your blog- and will continue to check you out on the LA Moms blog.
Cheers!
Mom is a great shoulder to cry on, just like you are to the boys. 🙂
Hang in there Kimmy! Time home is the only silver lining for sick days, not that I wish for themever….
Oh, I can understand that all-consuming feeling, like there’s not enough of *YOU* to go around and you don’t want to feel like you’re letting anyone down. I agree that it can be very tiring, and you really don’t want to forget yourself in all of it. But, sometimes little moments happen that seem so magical that you can’t help but see how worthwhile and wonderful your life can be (especially those amazing times when you can see the world through the eyes of your kids), even at its most hectic and overwhelming. You can hold on to those moments to get you through the rougher spots.