I have been feeling that old identity crisis again, the one where I am torn between my old life and my new one. The one that hates it when Stewart points out that he has to go to work in the morning, and I don’t. As if, I immediately assume he means, his time is more valuable than mine.
I bristle at such remarks because he’s right. I don’t have to GO anywhere to work in the morning. But that’s just it. My work is with me 24 hours a day, most days. The child I’m in charge of is 6 months old, not 19-24, and he’s OURS, not some random bunch of students. (Stewart is a college professor, for you newcomers.) So the argument can be made that MY time is just as valuable, a point with which Stewart readily agrees. There’s no bad guy here. As a former boss once told me, “You need to be comfortable with my role on the show because it’s not going to change.” I guess I should be telling that to myself now.
It’s just that sometimes I look around me and my life is almost unrecognizable. People, I am MAKING INVITATIONS. I purchased a PAPER CUTTER at Michael’s, that Mecca of crafty moms everywhere. There’s ribbon and vellum and appropriately sized envelopes involved. It’s alarming. I’m sucked in by cuteness wherever I go, even on the web. I found the cutest (squeal!) ticker on Katie’s site that I decided to plagiarize (see the bottom of my page near the site counter) because I just couldn’t resist.
I’d better be careful because I might find myself wearing pearls at noon and scrapbooking while Kyle naps. Not to offend any scrapbookers, but please, if you are my friend and you catch me cutting paper with scalloped scissors, TIE ME DOWN AND FORCE ME TO DO A SHOT OF VERY STRONG TEQUILA!
(That reminds me of a funny story. Once, at a party during college, I did this thing called an upside down margarita shot. A guy put a set of football pads on my shoulders. Then I sat in a chair and a bunch of guys held it and tipped it backwards so I was tilted almost upside down. Someone poured tequila in my mouth while someone else poured margarita mix in. Of course I could not handle this and the tequila ran into my eyes and I ran around the party screaming “I’m blind! I’m blind!” until my friends took me back to my dorm. I guess that’s not a very funny story after all. If I were my parents I would literally shit my pants if I knew what I was doing. So to pay it forward I am not letting Kyle out of our house by himself until he’s 30.)
P.S. Kyle has his first official cold. He’s been running snot all day long and I’ve gotten lots of practice with the snot sucker. Poor little guy. And a note to Suburbia: as soon as humanly possible I am going to put Kyle into the bathroom sink fully clothed and take a photo of him smiling at himself in the mirror, because I can’t stand not having everything you have.
How do I relate to thee?
Let me count the ways!
How do I relate to thee?
Let me count the ways!
How do I relate to thee?
Let me count the ways!
As your friend who was there at your side during the upside down margarita incident- if I find you wearing pearls at noon and scrapbooking away etc.– I will call for an exorcism order a bottle of something and babysit Kyle until you have returned to some state of normal.
Smile it is all good
As your friend who was there at your side during the upside down margarita incident- if I find you wearing pearls at noon and scrapbooking away etc.– I will call for an exorcism order a bottle of something and babysit Kyle until you have returned to some state of normal.
Smile it is all good
As your friend who was there at your side during the upside down margarita incident- if I find you wearing pearls at noon and scrapbooking away etc.– I will call for an exorcism order a bottle of something and babysit Kyle until you have returned to some state of normal.
Smile it is all good
Woops I didn’t admit that the above comment was from me- but I’m sure that you could have guessed that as how many people who were at the party are reading this blog (ladies- you know who you are- Julie, Tricia, Lisa)
Woops I didn’t admit that the above comment was from me- but I’m sure that you could have guessed that as how many people who were at the party are reading this blog (ladies- you know who you are- Julie, Tricia, Lisa)
Woops I didn’t admit that the above comment was from me- but I’m sure that you could have guessed that as how many people who were at the party are reading this blog (ladies- you know who you are- Julie, Tricia, Lisa)
Thank you for not telling us this before now. I’m sitting here (although I’ve read this 3 times already!) and it’s just sinking in —- she did WHAT!!!????
Payback’s a bitch, just you wait and see….
Thank you for not telling us this before now. I’m sitting here (although I’ve read this 3 times already!) and it’s just sinking in —- she did WHAT!!!????
Payback’s a bitch, just you wait and see….
Thank you for not telling us this before now. I’m sitting here (although I’ve read this 3 times already!) and it’s just sinking in —- she did WHAT!!!????
Payback’s a bitch, just you wait and see….
I was wondering when you’d leave some sort of horrified comment!
I was wondering when you’d leave some sort of horrified comment!
I was wondering when you’d leave some sort of horrified comment!
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