Free Crap Santa Claus
I have declared the Great Free Crap Giveaway a success. And here’s why:
The enormous pile of free crap that was too good to throw away but not useful for me has been reduced to a small tote bag’s size.
I may have brightened the days of a handful of people, even just a little bit.
It cost me less than $30.
Now, that $30 is not an amount that I toss around with no thought. I mean, I could have just trucked the whole mess to Good Will or Salvation Army.
This post was meant to be a quick update about what’s left. But since I did this, I went to a few events and added three more bags of free crap to the pile. I hope you all know that when I say “crap” I mean it in a snarky, loving way. Some of the free crap I get is not crap at all, like the Hershey’s Dark chocolate bar, for example. You can never go wrong with giving me free chocolate. Oh, unless it’s made with ground herbs and cranberries and bark, like that one from Barney’s I got at some event. Sorry, Barney’s, but you cannot give a woman chocolate that tastes like that chocolate bar did. It tasted like SOAP. Even if it’s “good for you,” a substance does not deserve the name chocolate unless it tastes good.
So. Some people got fun little packages in the mail this week and some of them even tweeted about it. That’s all I ask. Spread the word, people. Tell your friends about me. I like the attention. I even buy it with free crap.
Ho, ho, ho.