Some Sweetness in a Time of Sadness

At this time of year I am usually running around like a crazy person collecting diapers and telling everyone I know and everyone THEY know about how I’m collecting diapers for homeless shelters and other services in Los Angeles through Help a Mother Out.  And here I am, still telling you.  Please go to Help a Mother Out and send a box of diapers to an agency that is most likely running low on their supply of “emergency” diapers.  The babies will thank you.

But this year the wind has been taken from my sails.  I’m not actively participating in a holiday diaper drive.  I can’t handle much more than the basic requirements of my general person:  parenting, wife-ing, editing, and bitching about stuff on Facebook.  Since it’s Christmas time I have gone the extra 10 feet and turned on the twinkly lights every evening, lit candles, ordered Christmas cards, etc.  Inside, I still feel like the shell of who I really am.  Outside, you probably wouldn’t know, unless you really know me.

Holidays are tough for people dealing with loss.  You’ve heard it, you’ve read about it, there are even webinars designed to help people cope with it.  I’ve lost people I’ve loved and missed them during the holidays, but nothing like this.  This is brand new.

As I mope around and slowly rejoin the ranks of regular people, people who are living lives not immediately dampened by the loss of a close friend, my children inspire me to force myself out of bed.  My job inspires me to force myself into my desk chair.  My husband inspires me to get out of it late at night and join him, finally.

This blog allows me a place to vent and share and reflect.  When I look back on older posts I see Lisa’s comments everywhere.  For you readers who have followed my story since 2004, you were her kindred spirits.  I will miss her comments, her ever present cheerful empathy and support.

Anyway.  My point is that because of this blog, I was invited to participate in yet another brand promotion – but this one is different.  Stonyfield, the organic yogurt company, gave me and several other members of MomsLA.com  $50 gift cards to give away.  They said we could do whatever we wanted with it.  One woman I know bought coffee for everyone in the line at Starbucks.  Another one gave cash to her children to hand out to homeless people.

I stuck mine in a Christmas card and gave it to a friend who is a single mom.  I know she struggles with her finances.  I know the holidays are tough on her.  Fifty bucks might not change her world but it can certainly buy some groceries.

I am grateful to have had that easy opportunity to help someone in at least a small way.

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I was given $50 by Stonyfield to give away as part of their #Sweetitude program for the Holidays.

Photo by Flagstaff Fotos via Wikipedia