The Gays Are Not Going To Hell, and Other Stories

Dear lovely churchgoing pals ‘o mine:

I’m so glad I missed the anti-gay discussion at Jesus Moms’ Club this morning. Part of me is a little bit sad that I missed it, actually, because maybe I could have added something to help open your minds a little bit. But lately I’ve been pulling in my sails and protecting my spiritual and emotional cargo, so to speak. Election season was hard enough. I don’t know how persuasive I could have been against that kind of thinking. I like to think that it’s okay for people to have their own opinions about things. Still, it’s hard to know that people I admire and enjoy have such opposite attitudes about The Gays, whom I love and accept and applaud, not for their gayness, but because I know enough good, kind, smart, caring, and wonderful people who are also gay that I am convinced (not ever having to be convinced) that, like blind people and Mexicans, they are not bad people because they are different from me.

Having said all of that, thank you for your yummy snacks, cute babies, and excellent hugs.

Love, Kim

P.S. I know some of you may read this blog, and I hope you’ll still talk to me when I show up again. After all, I don’t consider you bad people because you think differently than I do.

Florinda has a guest post up at her blog by Karen Harrington, who writes about being a mom who writes. I’ve been struggling with this dual identity for…oh, three and a half years now. I am far from having a strategy, so I enjoy learning about other people’s methods. Vicki Forman advised me to treat it like a job, i.e. get working at 9AM and save the housework for the end of the day. She spent a generous morning with me last week at Starbucks, where we worked, laptop-to-laptop, like Writers. It would have been great except my internet connection was mysteriously slow. Anyway, over at the The 3R’s, there are many quotes and anecdotes about the painful condition of writing under the influence of parenthood. I dig this post.

It would be so easy to think “Well, you are only writing for yourself. Can’t you do that later?” Yes, that would be easy to say. But if you want to write, you have to learn to say, “No, this is my job. People are counting on me. And most importantly, I’m counting on me.” “

Monday is Charity Day at Los Angeles Moms Blog, where, if my post makes the cut, you’ll find me burying my head in the sand once again to avoid all the bad news about shit that people do to children. I won’t go into it all again here. The point is that when I hear yet another story about a poor baby who was harmed by an evil adult (gay or straight, those are the people who should go to hell) I just want to squeeze my children and love them to infinity, and not ever have Bad Mommy moments and protect them from all harm forever and ever. I’m doing the best I can in that department, so I’ve been looking around for a way to share my surplus. It occurred to me as I wrote that post that I have people in the trenches – specifically, two of my friends are social workers with different child services agencies, and one of them works right on the front lines, removing children from dangerous family situations. Sometimes she’ll take a child from its home in the middle of the night. The child will have nothing – no toys, clothes, or equipment. And guess what I have? Lots of extras of those things. I’ll be wiping, washing, and boxing it all up to bring directly to her office, where it will all be used by the kids who really need it. Contact me if you have stuff, and I’ll make sure it gets to her.

As Lisa Ling is to Oprah, so is my friend Stefanie to Dr. Phil. She was a special field correspondent for a story about “reborning,” or a particularly creepy doll-collecting movement. She needs no pimping…this is purely for your entertainment.

Speaking of entertainment, remember when my husband forgot my birthday? He’s taking suggestions for inexpensive thoughtful Christmas gifts for me at Well…he is now. In honor of that event, Watch this movie. Seriously. It’s funny.


  1. says

    There is no convincing people who are so deeply entrenched in their opinions about politics, religion, and the right-ness or wrong-ness of differing sexual orientations.
    Just a reminder… tomorrow is the last day to enter the heather fish studio blog marketing contest 😉 … off to suggest to your hubby that heather fish studio has some super-cute and inexpensive Christmas gifts for his lovely wife :)

  2. says

    “reborning” is creepy, but not quite as creepy to me as “unboxing” a youtube phenom where people videotape themselves opening up merchandise for the first time.

  3. says

    I agree with Lisa- there is no convincing people who see things so black and white. I spent a few weeks trying with certain members of my family and got nowhere. I am still trying to figure out on what planet it made sense to the people of California to vote to take away rights from people and give more rights to chickens and pigs. But that’s a topic for another day

  4. says

    It’s too bad we can’t convince people that being gay isn’t bad. They’d be offended if we said they were bad for something about themselves they couldn’t change.

  5. Ellen says

    Just so you know, people who are against gay marriage do NOT hate gay people. Christians hate the sin, not the sinner. You should know this. Open YOUR mind a little.

  6. says

    Thank you for speaking up. However, you may notice I said nothing about hate. That would lead to a much more venomous post. Also, “Christians” is a theoretical group. Actual people don’t feel their feelings according to Church teachings. If that were the case, this post might not exist at all.

  7. Jeffrey says

    I do find it curious that you presuppose what God’s judgement will be about being gay (the title of this post). If you know what His judgement of people will be for the “transgressions” of their mortal existence, you could make big money with a TV show like Crossing Over, only with eternal damnation for the loser. Survivor would pale in comparison.

  8. says

    Hmmm you do know us “GAY” people have names and feelings. We are not out to make you feel like you have to ‘approve’ our lifestyle. I am not a hostile person when it comes to people who are against me being gay but I do get an attitude when they bring in the religious matter. I grew up in a very christian home and went to a private christian school. Never once was I taught that homosexuality was bad or a sin. I was taught however that sex outside of marriage is wrong. And also I know that if you want to refer to the Bible about our ‘actions’ you are also a sinner for wearing clothes made of different fabrics, and working on a sabbath, and men for shaving their beards. The list goes on. So before people judge us for our lifestyle choice they need to sit back and evaluate how they are sinning EVERYDAY. And judging people is a sin! I was taught that we should not judge others becuz no one is perfect. Only God can judge my partner and I. And we definatly do not like to be refered to as ‘The Gays’. We are humans just like you. I understand in life that there are going to be people that look down on us and maybe even have a distaste for who we are and what style of life we represent. But that is our business and our priority. And I do condem you for standing up for us… but know that not everyone is always going to feel like that :)

  9. An Interested Person says

    Sabrae, I hope you meant “commend” rather than “condemn” in your last sentence.
    HOP is making fun of the way a particular group of people she knows refers to lesbians and homosexuals. Some of her very best friends just happen to be gay and so what? HOP is one of the most open-minded people I know and unless you know her, you DO NOT know what you are talking about.

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