I need some caregiver advice. Our daycare provider seems to be giving me the cold shoulder as a result of our sick kid negotiations the other day. I didn’t want to keep Kyle home because by all indicators he was no longer contagious. I was very adamant about this, and perhaps I spoke harshly, but I was trying, at least, to be diplomatic as I asserted myself. She eventually insisted I get a note from the doctor, and she would allow him back. In the end, we kept him home for three days.
I spoke with her on the phone just now, and she was very short with me. I feel extremely offended, considering that we bent over backward to accomodate her and the other children. I assume now that she is “mad” at me for my vehement protests the other day.
What to do? How can I live with strained relations with our son’s caregiver? I don’t believe that she will take it out on Kyle – if I thought that was possible, I wouldn’t have him in her care.
I suppose I could try to talk to her about it, but I am so worked up about it right now that I can’t even think clearly. I asked Stewart to handle it when he drops Kyle off tomorrow.
In the meantime, it plagues my thoughts. Help!
She should not be mad at you. I am sure that the daycare has health precaution rules, and I am sure you abided by them. When I worked in daycare, a child was excluded until the sores or lesions were gone. Hell. Kyle’s teachers could be giving it to everybody.
This is what the CDC says about HFMD and childcare:
“HMFD in the childcare setting
HFMD outbreaks in child care facilities occur most often in the summer and fall months, and usually coincide with an increased number of cases in the community.
CDC has no specific recommendations regarding the exclusion of children with HFMD from child care programs, schools, or other group settings. Children are often excluded from group settings during the first few days of the illness, which may reduce the spread of infection, but will not completely interrupt it. Exclusion of ill persons may not prevent additional cases since the virus may be excreted for weeks after the symptoms have disappeared. Also, some persons excreting the virus, including most adults, may have no symptoms. Some benefit may be gained, however, by excluding children who have blisters in their mouths and drool or who have weeping lesions on their hands.
If an outbreak occurs in the child care setting:
Make sure that all children and adults use good handwashing technique, especially after diaper changes.
Thoroughly wash and disinfect contaminated items and surfaces using diluted solution of chlorine-containing bleach.”
I’m sure Stewart will handle Kyle’s return just fine. Then next week when you are calmer you can talk with daylady about this, in calmer language.
Try not to worry.
Definitely take your mom’s advice. You may be extra sensitive right now and this will probably blow over. Next week you can talk to clear the air. Because she is new to this she may have been more extreme then another provider who has dealt with this all the time. I am pretty sure this is a common childhood thing so she will see it again. Don’t let it keep you up it will blow over.
ACK! I neglect blogs for a few days and I miss the big news! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Was that enough exclamation points? I’m not sure.)
For good measure – !!!!!
I’ve found from my job that daycares seem to be obsessive over sending kids home at the least sign of illness and then requiring a doctor’s note to return… guess when it is your little one they are protecting from germs it doesn’t seem as bad as when it is your quite likely not contagious little one they are excluding. I think having Stewart handle it is a good idea. He can blame it on your hormonal state and apologize for your crazy self 😉
There will be times when you have differing views with the day care provider. I even went so far as to go over Jackson’s care giver’s head to the director when my point was not being heard. I got a cold shoulder for a few days, but I am the mom, and my opinion is the one that counts. I made no apologies, followed their other requests that I thought reasonable, and within a coupld of weeks, all was good in the world again.
That being said, our state has regulations about fevers, “serious bowel issues”, vomiting, scabies, etc. on the time away. All things being different, if another kid had it, you would be upset if they came too early and gave it to Kyle. It is hard and inconenient, but there were times I had wished other kids had been sent home earlier, not let back in until later, so I gritted my teeth, charged my laptop battery, and stayed home, or John and I split days.
(okay – all things being different does not really make sense – I think I meant all things being the same)