Moo.

The last few weeks have gone by in a flash. Kyle is almost 7 weeks old. The pediatrician told us that fussiness peaks at 6 weeks. I am still waiting for it to decline.

We have 2 problems – his fussiness during mealtimes and his apparent inability to nap longer than 20 minutes unless someone is holding him or mama’s not home. The mealtime thing is weird – he nurses for about 10-15 minutes, then cries and cries. Sometimes he needs to be burped, after which he lets spit-up dribble from his mouth onto my shoulder, the couch, whatever shirt I am wearing, or he coughs it at me in a forceful spray. Other times I start to burp him and he just calms down, magically turning into the delightfully attentive and smiling baby you see pictured below. I haven’t yet figured out which Kyle will result from each feeding. The experiment continues.

Then there’s the napping. By 4pm I am so tired that I really need him to take a nap. I go through all manners of ritual. The bedtime ritual seems to work: make sure he’s fed. Change his diaper, and most likely his clothes, which are usually stained with curdled milk and other bodily fluids. At this point he is usually yelling, as if to say “I don’t WANNA go to bed! I wanna stay up and watch CSI!” So I dope him up with baby vitamins (he loves the grape flavor!), pop the pacifier in his mouth, and calm him enough to swaddle him in a blanket. This is actually getting hard because he has grown too long for most of his blankets already. Once swaddled, I rock him in the bathroom with the hair dryer on. When he looks drowsy I bring him into the dimly lit bedroom, where I then place him lovingly in the Evenflo play yard with bassinet attachment, as womb sounds soothingly pulse from its little speaker attachment. Kyle will either sleep for at least 30 minutes before propelling his pacifier out of his mouth, or he will lie awake, beady eyes blinking, for an hour or two, occasionally yelling for mom or dad to get the friggin’ pacifier and put it back in his mouth, thank you very much.

At least it works eventually. He sleeps from 10 or 11 until about 5 or 6, most nights. I have gotten used to it, so much that this morning when he woke us up I was very reluctant to get up and feed him. Stewart had to shake me: “Wake up, milk machine!” This is what I have given up my previous life for: human cow.

But the napping has me mystified. I read that babies his age should be getting 14-15 hours of sleep in every 24 hour period. My child only sleeps for maybe 10 or 11. I’ve tried repeating the bedtime ritual. I’ve tried inventing a special nap ritual. I’ve tried the swing, the bouncy seat, the papasan chair, the hair dryer, the rocking, the boppy, the Eddie Bauer infant carrier. The Mylicon drops. The only thing that seems to work is leaving the child with someone else. When I am around him, Kyle thinks only of lunch. How can I tell him that sometimes sleep is more important than food?!