This afternoon our family attended a Baptism Seminar with Kyle’s carefully selected godparents, Lisa and Greg. It was a 2.5-hour ordeal in a community room next to the church, led by a robust and genial Church Guy whose title I never quite heard or understood. He’s married, and his lovely wife was his assistant, so I assume he’s not a priest.
Anyway. Given Kyle’s squirmy and vocal nature, Stewart and I were worried that he might not make it through the whole class, but he was an entertaining and joyous little angel. Always prepared with the well-stocked diaper bag (but usually missing one crucial and obvious item), we had a bottle of expressed breast milk to tide him over, teething toys, pacifiers, etc. And we had to employ all of them. When these supplies had been rejected one by one, the last resort was to stand in back of the class and swing the baby around to get him to fall asleep. Maybe it was the holy atmosphere that calmed him – he fell asleep in my arms.
Kyle doesn’t often fall asleep while I’m holding him anymore. He’s much too fidgety and interested in doing things like pulling my hair, clutching a baby-sized handful of my skin, tugging at my shirt (lunch!) or climbing me like a monkey on a tree. Oh, and shrieking happily while he does any of the above. It’s adorable, but exhausting.
Today’s exception to the rule gave me pause. My baby is growing up so fast that I had better enjoy it, this rare moment when Kyle sleeps peacefully in mama’s lap. His beautiful smooth face with the 10-foot eyelashes and his little pink mouth that still makes sucking motions while he sleeps. His warm cozy little fat body. I just wanted to hug him and squeeze him and freeze that moment in time. Of course I got weepy. It didn’t help that the class was now focused on a video about a girl who died at Columbine, a teen who believed in God and was killed for it (so says Barbara Walters, Al Gore, and lots of holy rollers). Luckily the lights were dimmed so I could blink back the tears and save face.
My love and terror has quieted to a sort of constantly throbbing love and anxiety. I was once so very afraid of my own death, and when Kyle was born, so much more afraid of his. I still am, but now I’m less haunted by the dangers of the world and more interested in enjoying his vibrant, energetic life. After six months, I guess I’m starting to realize that I will have this nagging, just-under-the-surface worry for the rest of my life.
Six months. Yes. I can hardly believe I typed those words. I remember when I looked at moms and six-month-old babies and thought it was so far away for me. When those moms looked at me and Kyle and squealed “oh, he’s so TINY! I remember when my baby was that small!” Now I’m that kind of mom. I see six-week-olds and I get a little, very little, bit jealous of their mothers, with all this fun and snuggle ahead of them. But then I remember The Great Nap Struggle, and I feel better.
Kyle is a much better napper in his old age. He frequently takes 2-hour afternoon naps, or longer! Sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself. I hate to commit to a project or a nap of my own when I fear that he will wake at any moment. Next thing I know, I’ve frittered away the afternoon and Kyle’s slept for 3 hours. Most times, I walk into his room and find him on his belly, either mad at his predicament or gleefully smiling and happy to see me. Either way, every time I go in there after a long nap or night, it feels like Christmas morning.
We’ve started solid foods in earnest. So far Kyle’s had rice cereal, pureed pears, avocado, and banana. He liked the banana the best. He’s not so great with the sippy cup, looking more like the guy in Airplane who had the drinking problem than anything else.
To help usher in the Solid Food Era, Stewart put Kyle’s high chair together yesterday.
Once I got his highness strapped in, he surveyed the chair like the engineer child of his father. “Hmm, how does THIS thing work?” he seemed to be thinking.
And he grabbed it with his clutchy little hands and he bent forward to bite it with his two little teeth.
And he declared it good.
It seems that the putting together of things will never end. We’ve also installed Kyle’s convertible car seat and put the Exersaucer together.
This has been a week of many milestones. My favorite, hands down, is when Kyle grabs my face in his hands, plants his wet mouth on my cheek, and says “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
Wow 6 months already. Time does fly. Love the picture of him on the changing table. His face is priceless and so is the last one of that great baby smile.
Sounds like this mama is enjoying the ride.
Wow 6 months already. Time does fly. Love the picture of him on the changing table. His face is priceless and so is the last one of that great baby smile.
Sounds like this mama is enjoying the ride.
Wow 6 months already. Time does fly. Love the picture of him on the changing table. His face is priceless and so is the last one of that great baby smile.
Sounds like this mama is enjoying the ride.
They just grow up way to darn fast 🙂 Lovely pictures.
They just grow up way to darn fast 🙂 Lovely pictures.
They just grow up way to darn fast 🙂 Lovely pictures.
You made me cry at WORK!!!
You made me cry at WORK!!!
You made me cry at WORK!!!
Yeah, that worry definitely stays! I love the pic of Kyle’s mouth wide open ready to launch!
Yeah, that worry definitely stays! I love the pic of Kyle’s mouth wide open ready to launch!
Yeah, that worry definitely stays! I love the pic of Kyle’s mouth wide open ready to launch!
I actually had to LEAVE the office and close myself in the bathroom to SOB – because I was so happy and then I went to the dining hall to get another cup of coffee, so people wouldn’t look at me weird….
I actually had to LEAVE the office and close myself in the bathroom to SOB – because I was so happy and then I went to the dining hall to get another cup of coffee, so people wouldn’t look at me weird….
I actually had to LEAVE the office and close myself in the bathroom to SOB – because I was so happy and then I went to the dining hall to get another cup of coffee, so people wouldn’t look at me weird….
My favorite pic is of Stewart attempting to make sense of the directions to put the high chair together!!!
My favorite pic is of Stewart attempting to make sense of the directions to put the high chair together!!!
My favorite pic is of Stewart attempting to make sense of the directions to put the high chair together!!!
Do you have any idea how much I love your blog? You don’t. You can’t. It is fabulous. So is Stewart, and so, of course, is the Little Prince.
My favorite line in the whole entry was how it’s like Christmas morning when you go in to get your baby after a long nap. I totally agree; I love that feeling, and you couldn’t have put it better.
Yes, it is bizarre that we have the same Exersaucer and windsor pattern car seat. I was hoping that you might try your hand at winning the lottery, because that means we’ll be sure to follow.
I love my Zoe so much that sometimes I think that the pang in my heart when she laughs will make me just… I don’t know, explode or something. It is intense. I was not *really* living before she came along. I’d structured my life so carefully and comfortably. Now, everything is crazy but I feel so much more alive.
Again, with the long comment! You must think I am a complete internet nutcase. I am not. I promise. 🙂
Do you have any idea how much I love your blog? You don’t. You can’t. It is fabulous. So is Stewart, and so, of course, is the Little Prince.
My favorite line in the whole entry was how it’s like Christmas morning when you go in to get your baby after a long nap. I totally agree; I love that feeling, and you couldn’t have put it better.
Yes, it is bizarre that we have the same Exersaucer and windsor pattern car seat. I was hoping that you might try your hand at winning the lottery, because that means we’ll be sure to follow.
I love my Zoe so much that sometimes I think that the pang in my heart when she laughs will make me just… I don’t know, explode or something. It is intense. I was not *really* living before she came along. I’d structured my life so carefully and comfortably. Now, everything is crazy but I feel so much more alive.
Again, with the long comment! You must think I am a complete internet nutcase. I am not. I promise. 🙂
Do you have any idea how much I love your blog? You don’t. You can’t. It is fabulous. So is Stewart, and so, of course, is the Little Prince.
My favorite line in the whole entry was how it’s like Christmas morning when you go in to get your baby after a long nap. I totally agree; I love that feeling, and you couldn’t have put it better.
Yes, it is bizarre that we have the same Exersaucer and windsor pattern car seat. I was hoping that you might try your hand at winning the lottery, because that means we’ll be sure to follow.
I love my Zoe so much that sometimes I think that the pang in my heart when she laughs will make me just… I don’t know, explode or something. It is intense. I was not *really* living before she came along. I’d structured my life so carefully and comfortably. Now, everything is crazy but I feel so much more alive.
Again, with the long comment! You must think I am a complete internet nutcase. I am not. I promise. 🙂
This all sounded very familiar to me. Luke does some of the same things – biting on the high chair tray, screaming ALL THE TIME, etc. We have the same sippy cup and he doesn’t get it yet. I think it’s too hard – I tried it. He likes the Nuby cups because they have a soft nipple. First he just bit it, but then he figured out that by sucking he could get more.
This all sounded very familiar to me. Luke does some of the same things – biting on the high chair tray, screaming ALL THE TIME, etc. We have the same sippy cup and he doesn’t get it yet. I think it’s too hard – I tried it. He likes the Nuby cups because they have a soft nipple. First he just bit it, but then he figured out that by sucking he could get more.
This all sounded very familiar to me. Luke does some of the same things – biting on the high chair tray, screaming ALL THE TIME, etc. We have the same sippy cup and he doesn’t get it yet. I think it’s too hard – I tried it. He likes the Nuby cups because they have a soft nipple. First he just bit it, but then he figured out that by sucking he could get more.
Oh, I love the 6 month update. Great photos. You’re allowed to feel like it’s Christmas morning every time you go get Kyle – he is SUCH a cutiepie!
Oh, I love the 6 month update. Great photos. You’re allowed to feel like it’s Christmas morning every time you go get Kyle – he is SUCH a cutiepie!
Oh, I love the 6 month update. Great photos. You’re allowed to feel like it’s Christmas morning every time you go get Kyle – he is SUCH a cutiepie!
I love those pictures of him in the high chair. He’s all… “Now what’s… how do I… wait…. what exactly is the meaning of… hmm…. I’m not quite sure… but okay, I trust you.” I gotta see that kid soon.
I love those pictures of him in the high chair. He’s all… “Now what’s… how do I… wait…. what exactly is the meaning of… hmm…. I’m not quite sure… but okay, I trust you.” I gotta see that kid soon.
I love those pictures of him in the high chair. He’s all… “Now what’s… how do I… wait…. what exactly is the meaning of… hmm…. I’m not quite sure… but okay, I trust you.” I gotta see that kid soon.
My gosh, he couldn’t be any more adorable in these photos. Thanks for the heavy post of pictures. He truly looks like an engineer trying to figure out how the chair and table were put together. Very funny! Thanks again for all of the smilies!
My gosh, he couldn’t be any more adorable in these photos. Thanks for the heavy post of pictures. He truly looks like an engineer trying to figure out how the chair and table were put together. Very funny! Thanks again for all of the smilies!
My gosh, he couldn’t be any more adorable in these photos. Thanks for the heavy post of pictures. He truly looks like an engineer trying to figure out how the chair and table were put together. Very funny! Thanks again for all of the smilies!
He looks like a cackling crazy inventor in the exersaucer picture. Great post!
He looks like a cackling crazy inventor in the exersaucer picture. Great post!
He looks like a cackling crazy inventor in the exersaucer picture. Great post!
A likes these pics. He gives a running commentary while looking at them. He likes that Kyle has a sippy like him.
A likes these pics. He gives a running commentary while looking at them. He likes that Kyle has a sippy like him.
A likes these pics. He gives a running commentary while looking at them. He likes that Kyle has a sippy like him.