This is the tenth post in “A Month of Reading“
December thirteenth. So, I have this friend.
Jason Land was Lisa’s personal trainer. At least, that’s how they met. In 2007, after her first surgery, she did physical therapy until the insurance stopped paying for it, and then hired Jason to continue her recovery. All of that tough rehabilitation made her lose weight, and before long she lost 75 pounds! She became something of a fitness freak, which I use to tease her for, but mostly because I was jealous. We had always been the same size, but here she was giving me a pile of her “fat pants” every time she came over.
Jason and Lisa became close friends. Close enough that she dragged me and another gal down to Orange County to see him play in an 80’s cover band called The Dojo – they dressed in bad-boy karate outfits with Ralph Macchio as their inspiration. The music got better the more we drank.
In Lisa’s absence I have gotten to know Jason a little bit better. He married his longtime sweetheart this summer, and I attended a reception here in Southern California, but the wedding itself was held in the Dominican Republic. Lisa had displayed her save the date on her dining room counter, and was looking forward to the adventure.
Jason has been incredibly industrious in this last year without her. Inspired by Lisa’s dramatic physical recovery and the way she used the opportunity to increase her overall health before her untimely passing, Jason has created Reclaim Your Body, an interactive fitness book that includes workout videos and nutritional guidance for people who are interested in living healthier. One user compares it to having a personal trainer with her all the time, without the cost.
That’s pretty amazing in itself, but he didn’t stop there. Working with the staff at Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles and USC’s Keck School of Medicine where Lisa was on staff as a neonatologist, Jason set up Team Lisa, a charity that will be funded by the proceeds from Reclaim Your Body. Team Lisa will send doctors to developing nations to educate their medical personnel on how to properly care for newborn babies. Jason says that after 400 units are sold, the first doctor will be able to travel and continue the work that Lisa was doing when her life ended.
It’s incredibly hard for me to write this. I’m so angry that she is gone. Today is her birthday. There are no more happy birthdays for her. But I am amazed and so proud of Jason, who is taking this loss and turning it into something that will hopefully gift many babies with birthdays from now going forward, all over the world.
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This is a good time to tell you that I am taking part in a darkly weird but also comforting and awesome blog support effort called Hugs For the Holidays.
Someone just asked me what I miss the most about Lisa. My answer was this: “So many things but these days I miss her loyal friendship the most. I could count on her 100% and she knew that she could count on me. She was part of my little CA family.”
I super double triple hate that she’s not around during her birthday and Christmas time. Mary Godwin of The Mama Mary Show and several of our other blogging pals are creating this blog support ring for people who are grieving loved ones during the holidays. We’re doing a post link-up on Wednesday, December 19.
From Mary’s post:
“We want to make sure no one is grieving alone this holiday season so we invite you to share your story with us. On Wednesday, December 19th, we will have multiple link-ups on the sites below, where you can comment and/or link up a post you have written, according to the type of loss with which you are dealing.
You can link up anything you would like to share about your lost love one: a link to a Facebook photo/post, a blog post about a particular memory, a Pinterest pin sharing how you cope, whatever you would like others to read or see. If you are not a blogger, you can write your memory in the comments of the blog.
If you have had a miscarriage, stillbirth or lost an infant link here: fourplusanangel.com
If you have lost your mom link here: sandiegomomma.com
Your dad link here: mamamaryshow.com or deaddadsclub.com
Your sibling link here: myinnerchick.com
A child link here: aninchofgray.blogspot.com
A friend link here: kimtracyprince.com
We have also created a special #HugsfortheHolidays Pinterest board so check it out for tips on dealing with grief and some inspiration to help ease the pain during this season. If you have a specific link you’d like shared on the board between now and December 19th please include it in the comments below.
Please remember to visit a few other blog posts on this special day to help spread the love around to others. Our goal is that no one feels like they are suffering alone this holiday season.”
When I write about Lisa I usually take the extra step to include relevant links to her story for those of you who are new here, but I just can’t do it right now. I’m tired of this whole year. I’m tired knowing that I have to keep growing old without her. I am not yet at the place where I feel her in my heart and that’s enough. I sure wish I could fast-forward to that part. So, if you’re new here, just click the tag “Lisa” down there at the bottom of this post, and you’ll see why I am so sad.
Another good post, but I just don’t get you. I can’t think about Dr. Lisa without smiling, and you’ve got years more good memories to draw on than I do. A Karate Kid-themed cover band? You can’t read that sentence without smiling!
Just take comfort that she’s smiling now, too. Because she picked ND to cover in the SC game.
xoxoox
Is there a link for the book? Not only do I want to read it, I want to be a part of what it represents 😀
And Delli ~
I’d like to speak to your “I just don’t get you” concern. I’ve been drawn to Kim’s experience from the start – not out of voyeurism but out of kindred spirit connection.
I too have a best friend I plan to grow old with. Sure, my husband will still be a part of that aging process {hopefully}, but there is just something about another woman who you know was meant to be by your side through the decades.
I guess it’s hard to explain. But when I read Kim’s posts about Lisa, I find my heart aching for her loss & praying I won’t have to experience the same.
I get her sadness. It would be so hard to imagine making a new memory w/o my BFF in it. Because all my adult-life memories worth telling stories about, she is a pivotal part of.
I’m a Mom, and I have those memories with my kids. I’m a wife, and I have those memories with my husband. I’m a professional, and I have those memories with my clients. And then, I’m a woman – an individual, and I have all those memories with my best friend.
You know the saying “you had to be there” … that’s what Kim is mourning – that she has to let go of the “you had to be there to get it” memories that will never again come.
Sometimes, it’s not enough to remember the past when there was so much more future you were counting on.
I hope this all makes sense and is received with the warm embrace it was sent with.
As for me, I’ll NEVER let go.
Thank you for being part of “HUG FOR THE HOLIDAYS.”
Xxx
@April and @Delli
I also wonder if it’s a Venus vs. Mars thing. My husband tends to think like Delli, despite my hangdog attitude.
ALSO, my sadness is now more often expressed here on the blog where I can say anything I want than anywhere else. I think people are sick of my whining. Sometimes even I am sick of my whining. But when I write, I just get so very sad, and that’s what comes out. That may change over time. It has only been a year, after all, and I was friends with Lisa for over 20 years.
And @Delli, for what it’s worth, if I lost YOU it would be similar. I probably met you on the very same day I met Lisa!