I Love You, Man

A wedding anniversary isn’t just a celebration of the day we got married, although that event is one to be celebrated, as joyous, remarkable, and packed with expectations as it was.  No, I see our anniversaries as occasions to celebrate the entire length of our marriage.

Now it has been ten years.

Because we dated for almost five years before the date of our wedding, Stewart and I knew each other pretty well by then.  But in the ten years that have passed since that day, we have been through many monumental life changes.  Besides the creation, births, and hilarious and terrifying and mundane actions of our children, which are the most notable changes we have experienced as partners, we have also bought and sold a house.  Traveled together.  Triumphed at our careers, and struggled through professional challenges.  We even got audited by the IRS.  If that’s not something that will make or break a couple, I don’t know what is.

Although today is our Tin Anniversary, we will celebrate officially in a few weeks with a short family vacation, so this day is full of the regular things:  work, a playdate, wake-up coffee, LEGO’s on the floor.  This morning we opened a box of memorabilia and photos from our wedding day.  In my characteristic organized fashion, I have saved not just photos but tangible reminders:  RSVP cards, maps from our sailing honeymoon in the British Virgin Islands, notes from wedding guests, snippets of lace and ribbon from the various decorations of the celebration.

Brady and Kyle looked over our shoulders as we picked up one item after another.  It was like looking through bits of a time capsule.  Kyle said “you look so young!”

As I told the children stories about that day ten years ago, my voice caught.  The pictures show so many of our loved ones gathered in one place, and they made me feel wistful.  Many of those people – too many – are no longer alive.  And we have lost touch with many others who were once so important to us that they were part of the biggest celebration in our lives thus far.

We both agree that that loss is okay.  People come and go in anyone’s life.  For whatever reason, they are not all in our lives to this day.  But what matters is that they were there, then, and they loved us and we loved them.  And that we are still together, knowing so much more about each other than we did on the day we said “I do.”  We have managed to use that knowledge to strengthen our bond instead of weaken it, and for that I am so grateful.

On the back of our wedding program (5 copies of which are in the box) is this quote:

Love is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring

Bound by wild desire, I fell into a ring of fire

-Johnny Cash

“Ring of Fire” was the song for our first dance, pictured below for your comic relief.  Bound we are, indeed.

 

Happy tenth anniversary to us.